Dear Jeff,

I just got off the phone with the studio. They want me to co-teach/co-lead retreats this summer and want to add more classes to my schedule which are mid day and conflict with scheduling at the restaurant. The added retreats/classes would only leave Tuesdays available for the restaurant.

With that being said, I I’ll have to unfortunately decline the job offer at this time. I know it isn’t reasonable for someone to work one day a week/pick up shifts sporadically.

I appreciate your time and the offer. I really enjoyed meeting you and chatting. I hope your summer goes fantastic and I will be sure to come and enjoy the patio when I can!

Sorry again for the last minute email.

---

Dear Jeff.

Thank you so much for your time and presence with me yesterday. I enjoyed our time talking about the opportunity to serve on your team.

It’s with regrets I write. After careful consideration I’m surprised to find that I’m oscillating on whether even 3 shifts is doable for me. And 1 (possibly picking up another shift, to make 2 as ad hoc) likely isn’t enough for me to stay current on what I’ve learned or to offer you what you need for a commitment.

And, it occurred to me as I was driving home from our visit, that this weekend marks the 2 week window of which I need to remain healthy and covid-free before I leave the country. (It seems covid is everywhere right now, affecting more friends and family these past couple weeks than I could count all total, since the beginning of pandemic? So strange.) I can’t risk an infection prior-to, or worse – getting to Scotland and being marooned there. (True story: Chase’s Dad- this same scenario just happened 1 week ago, screwed in Ireland.) So, it’s a tremendous ask to begin after returning from Scotland. (Mid June).

I feel very conditional presenting this to you, and yet, it’s what will work best for me – But I need to really honor that for myself. And Jeff, I completely honor that this in total wouldn’t work for you, as you really need someone who can jump right in an take flight.

I think it’s best that I step back, for you to find another candidate who can better fulfill your needs, and better support a full head count.

I’m surprised and disappointed that this realization has surfaced. I’m so so sorry. Thank you for your extremely kind invite to take a day to settle into a decision that feels right. I appreciate that more than I can express.

You are lovely, and I’ve loved every interaction with you– both as a customer and potential staff. Your folks are lucky to be led by your example.

Wishing you all the very best! I look forward to seeing you again.

———————————-

Dear Jeff.

Happy Monday. Hope you are having a great start to your week. I wanted to send this email to first off thank you for your time yesterday and additionally thank you for the job offer. At this time I will not be joining the team. I do however hope to be able to leave the door open, to reapply later in the summer, as right now my schedule is very tight. I hope you understand.
Once again, thank you for your time and consideration.

___________________

I have received 11 of these emails this year.

11 people I have offered a job to.

11 people I’ve spent 45+ minutes with.

11 of these emails.

All of these women were very sweet. Potentially very good employees. Women who did not start.

It’s frustrating.

It’s discouraging.

It pisses me off.

Alas.

We move on.

Salaries.

There have been lots of conversations about salaries in the news lately. Mostly about how they need to increase and that the numbers be shared.

Which leads me to a post.

I had dinner tonight at a restaurant. We love dining there. The service is always amazing. The food even better.

One of the things we talked about tonight is our interviews. And questions we ask, and questions the hopeful employee asks.

One question we both get asked is how much should I expect to make.

It used to annoy me.

I used to worry that the person I’m interviewing is just after the money. I want to hire people who are passionate. People who love serving. Who embrace what they do.

I’ve known people who chase the money. Can I make $5 more a shift there. $15 dollars a shift there.

These are people who are never happy. They never make enough. They jump ship at the drop of a hat. Forgetting, all the perks at their current job.

Meanwhile,

I was asked tonight how I answer the question.

It no longer annoys me. It’s legit.

My response informed him as to why my interviews are 45+ minutes.

I tell people it’s a complicated answer.

Part me. Part them. Part luck. Part bullshit.

It’s based on the time of the year. Day of the week.

Ultimately though. It’s up to them.

I will do my best to make sure there are butts in seats. I can’t control what happens after that.

There will be moms who come in with four kids, order 2 burgers then top $100 because they feel bad for the server.

There will be a very wealthy family who tips okay, but not on wine.

There will be four business men who are only allowed to tip 18%.

There will be locals who tip the check.

Most of my servers make 23, 24, 25 percent each night. If you’re good. You’ll do well.

It’s ultimately up to them to work the room.

Thank you for coming in. I have an other interview.

I just posted something about how small my town is.

This was prompted by an application I got today.

A man emailed me his resume. He got my information at the bar. On Saturday night. During service. At 8:00. After asking if he could speak to me about a job.

Read the room folks.

If you can’t read the room then you can’t work for me. Reading the room is part of the job.

Seriously the bartender walked up to me at 8:00 on Saturday night to see if I had time to chat with someone about a job.

We were slowing down. But I was fucking exhausted. It was a long service.

I handed the bartender my card and said tell him to email me.

And he did.

Turns out he worked at a restaurant I’m very familiar with. Jason is friends with several employees there. I texted Jason to do a background check.

He didn’t need to ask anyone. He’d applied with him as well. Rumor is that he’s crazy. I don’t have room for any more crazy people. I’m at my quota.

Add to that his inability to read the room.

I hear Applebee’s out by the mall is hiring.

I live in a small city. We’ll my little town is tiny. But the metropolitan area is also small.

However, we are known for our food scene. Our restaurants receive national recognition yearly.

Long story short. We got good food. Name a type of food and we rival any city in the us.

However. It is a small city.

So.

Every week I get resumes from people who have worked at restaurants that I know people at.

Suzy was a server here.

Jason was a server there.

Mark was a line cook here.

Pam was a bartender there.

So.

When I got a resume today from a guy who had worked at a restaurant I know someone at…I texted the manager.

No no no. He’s fucking crazy.

When Jasom got a resume from someone who used to cook at the pub I managed he texted to see if he should be interviewed. I said only if you want a side of sexual harassment with the hire.

Last week I hired a guy who worked at a restaurant where someone I know worked who said he was great.

A month ago I got four calls from people I know asking about a girl who had worked for me twice. Two different restaurants.

Um. No.

This girl comes with drama. Lots and lots and lots of drama.

So.

Remember.

Don’t burn bridges.

Don’t assume when you walk away the bridge won’t follow you.

It truly is a small town. Small area.