I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

We were busy again tonight.  Crazy busy.  The last two days we’ve done Saturday business during the week.

Today was different, as the host couldn’t make it to work.  I say host singularly because the days of me having two hosts are quickly coming to an end. 

With only one host scheduled, and them not being there, anyone want to guess who was on the door tonight?  Yes, Yes, Yes.  It was ME!  ME!  ME!

The night went swimmingly well for the most part.  The kitchen killed it.  The FOH did great.  All the problems were slight to say the least.  And I sat near record numbers by myself.  With the aid of my staff. 

The one problem we have when there is only one host is that there is only me to answer the phones.  So, we are limited in the number of same day reservations we can make because I can only pick up the phone when nothing is going on. 

Tonight around 7:00 I made a reservation for a woman named Sarah.  Nothing out of the ordinary about the reservation. 

They arrived around 7:30 and I get them seated.  Once again, absolutely nothing out of the ordinary. 

They are a very attractive couple, she is very nice, and he is very serious. 

Around 8:45 I walk through the area of the restaurant where they are serious, after giving a table my speech about needing to order soon, and I casually ask the couple how their dinner was.  They are so complimentary and so nice.

I go out to back to the bar and their server is standing there and she says, did they tell you what happened tonight?  I say, no and so she tells me.

Oh.  WOW. 

So I tell her to take them a round of our house made limoncello and to say that we are glad we turned their night around. 

She asks if I’d like to take it to the table and I say, of course. 

So I take the two glasses to the table and say, hi, your server told me what happened tonight and I just wanted to say how glad we are you ended up at our restaurant and that we were able to turn your night around.

They were so happy. 

At this point, the man apologizes for being rude when he came in.  I assure him he was anything but rude, I just thought he was someone who moved to a more serious nature.  Its clear now in talking to him that that is not the case at all.  He apologizes again, and I can now see he is not the serious guy I thought he was.  He’s super cute and very funny. 

They tell me their story.

He is from a neighboring state.  She is from NYC.   They met four months ago and have been dating.  He asked her to come to our fair state to get away for the weekend.  On the way up, he said he had a great surprise for her for dinner. 

I think she might have been afraid he was going to ask her to marry him, but instead, he’d made reservations at a restaurant near ours.  It was made over a month ago, and had required a $250 deposit and a requirement that they spend at least $600.  However, they got to have a very private dinner for 2 in a very romantic setting. 

They arrived on time for their reservation and upon checking in were told that the restaurant had no record of their reservation.  No record of his deposit.  No record of the conversations he made to make the reservation. 

And to make matters worse, they basically said, sorry dude!

He was pissed to say the least. 

Before I go on, this is my worst nightmare as a manager.  That I booked an event, failed to record it in the system, on my spreadsheet, etc and the people show up expecting something we can’t deliver.  My absolute worst fucking nightmare. 

He is close to losing his temper when his new girlfriend drags him out of the restaurant.

He is fuming in the car and says; just find us someplace to eat.  Any place.  I don’t care.  

And so she called, and miracle of miracles, I answered and they arrived and they were seated and they had an amazing time. 

They loved everything about the experience.  EVERYTHING.

The service.  The atmosphere and especially the food. 

And so they shared this story with their server.  And this story made me happy as I love to turn people’s experiences around and also, the other restaurant used to be the go to in town and was owned by the evil corporation in town and it seems they have ceased to be amazing. 

They also showed me the 5 page apology email the GM had sent apologizing for their not having the reservation, but doing little to make it better. 

So they shared this with me and I told them I was so happy that I had answered and that they had had a great time. 

They then asked where they should go to get the best lobster.  I explained that lobster was easy, they should instead go searching for the best lobster roll and seafood. 

So when they left 45 minutes later, I had given them a list of things to do, including asking my bf to make a reservation for them at his restaurant on Saturday night.  I told them it was the best place seafood in town. 

And they are coming back on Sunday to spend their last night in town with us. 

And that’s how I spent my night turning things around. 

I like being nice to people.  Till they won’t let me be. 

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

It was bring Jeff bourbon at work day today.

At 6:00 a server comes in to say table L2 has a gift for me.

Im on the door so I can’t go out.

About 7:30 he walks in with a bag with two bottles in it.

Then I seat a table at 7:45.

Regulars as well.

They ask me about bourbon.

I share that I really enjoy Buffalo Trace but it’s hard to get here.

20 minutes later I walk by there table and the girl pulls a bottle out of her purse.

I have no idea where it came from.

But I assure you I will enjoy it greatly.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Tonight a man about my age walks in holding a plastic cup.

I say, I’ll need to take the cup from you.

He steps back and gulps it.

I look at him.

He looks at me. 

I look at him and I say, if you do anything out of sorts again I’ll ask you to leave.

He looks at me like I’m crazy.

I say again, if you do something like that again, you won’t get served.

What do you mean?

I say, it’s against the law for you to have an open container in public.  It’s against the law for you to bring an open container into an establishment that serves alcohol.  It’s against the law, and you know it.  I’m not going to risk my liquor license because you need to drink half an ounce of wine.  And don’t tell me you didn’t know, every person in the country knows you can’t walk around with liquor in a cup. 

He became very demur, apologized and said he was sorry.

He acted like the 26 year old from the wedding. 

Who does that?

It also reminds me of the people who are told it will be just a couple of minutes before they can get seated who look at me and say, well can we go outside and get a drink.

Lady.  It’s a couple of minutes.

Before you got to the outside bar you’d be on your way to your table. 

This happens 30 times a day.

And trust me, at someone point in a moment of weakness I’m going to say to someone, you don’t need a drink, you need a meeting.  I can look up one online  while you dine and I can even make sure you get there after your meal tonight, because if you can’t go 4 minutes without a drink, I’m not sure a drink is what you need. 

PS.  A couple left without having dinner tonight because we didn’t serve Coor’s Light. 

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I was in phone call hell again today.  I don’t remember how many calls there were when I got there. 

There were a LOT!!!

I listened to the messages.  Or I tried. The phone kept ringing and it stops the machine from replaying the messages.  It took forever to get them all recorded in my notebook. 

The first thing of note is the number of multiple messages. 

Trust the system. 

This is my new mantra. 

Leave a message and let me call you back.  Especially when we are closed on the day you call. 

Please, don’t keep calling. 

Some asshole from NYC kept calling today.  Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.  I never answered his call.  Finally I wrote down his number and told my host not to answer his call. 

Fun fact, if he’d just left a message he could have had dinner with us.

Tonight at pre-shift I mentioned that my calling ability was made difficult by the asshole from NYC, and a server came up to say it might have been her friend who really wanted to eat with us tonight.  I assured her had he just left a message he’d have been fine. 

I can understand people calling more than once who want to eat with us on the same day, but seriously, leave a message.

Trust the system.   

Tonight the phone rang over and over and over.  Finally around 9:00 the caller left a message. 

Tonight I recorded all the messages in my notebook so that there’d be less tomorrow.  There were 21 tonight. 

The person who kept calling tonight was a girl looking for a reservation on August 18^th? 

August fucking 18th

Why the desperation?  Why the need to call over and over and over and over and over?

Also fun fact:

Leaving a message saying you’d like a reservation for tomorrow at 6:30 for 6 people is not a reservation. 

You need to connect with me before it’s real.

Two times tonight someone walked in and said, I left a message so I assumed I had a reservation. 

I was able to get them in, but NO, you don’t have a reservation until you get a confirmation text or email from the system. 

Also.

Don’t get frustrated with me when you made the reservation for the wrong day.

2 times tonight someone came in insisting they had a reservation.

And 2 times I did a search and discovered that the reservation was in fact for next Wednesday. 

Please, for the love of god don’t get angry with me.  I’ll do my best, which is what I did today and got them in, but I didn’t trick you into booking the wrong date.

And my favorite reservation mishap today. 

A couple comes in at 5:00 for a bar reservation.

Only I don’t have it. 

They insist their names are Jim and Brenda Smith.  I have no reservation at all under that name.

I take their phone number.

No reservation anywhere, ever in my system for that number. 

They explain that the concierge at their hotel made the reservation, and that it should be there.  I assure them that it is not. 

I try everything to find it.

I eventually say, let’s just get you seated and not worry about it.

So they are seated. 

I continue to look for the reservation, to no avail.

They eat and they leave.  I ask them if by chance their name was George as I had a reservation made by someone at their hotel collection with the name George who was a no show. 

They assure me it’s not. 

By this time I’ve no showed George. 

I thank them for coming in, I say I’m sorry there was a mistake on the hotel’s part for their reservation, but say I’m glad they were able to enjoy themselves. 

At this point I know they aren’t George.  So I charge George $50 bucks for the no show.

And what would you know the hotel calls around 8:30 because the company credit card was charged $50  They assure the host who answered it was our mistake, and that the hotel made the reservation under the name Angela. 

I can’t wait to call back tomorrow and explain that Angela is NOT George and that I can’t know what they meant to do when they made a reservation in the wrong name.  Also they’ve been doing this for two years now, get their phone number, name and credit card.  It’s not hard. 

Trust the system. 

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Table #37.

Ahhhhh.

Table #37.

8 women.  They were in and out all night.  Going to the parking lot to smoke.  Sometimes with their cocktail.  Sometimes not. 

Around 7:30 all but 4 of them leave. 

The 4 remaining gather in the bar area. 

One of them appears to ask about the cocktail tables by the bar.

It takes the host and myself about 45 minutes to realize she’s referring to the Chef’s tables. 

The host says that we have reservations on those tables. 

The woman points out that there are two tables.  I say, yes, but you can’t sit there for just drinks. 

She’s annoyed. 

I then notice that they’ve gathered at the rail where we store the extra bar stools we used to cap the chef’s table. 

Their server comes by and says do you want me to tell them they can’t sit there.

I say, if you want, why don’t you suggest they go out to the outside bar and they can get cocktails and sit by the fire. 

She does this.  They leave through the back door.

15 minutes later one of the women appears at the host stand. 

She says, I don’t understand why we couldn’t sit in the bar area and have drinks.  There are chairs there, surely they are for sitting.  I explain that it’s where we keep the extra chairs for the bar. 

That’s stupid she says.  She holding a beer and says a few more things and then walks into the bar. 

There’s a woman who’s just exited the restaurant watching the woman, you can tell she is sympathizing with us as the woman is crazy. 

I say to the host, follow her and see what she’s  up to.

The woman in the lobby laughs. 

The host follows her and comes back to say she has seated herself at the bar. 

I go into the bar, walk up to the woman and say, I’m sorry but you can’t sit here. 

She replies that she’s going to have a drink and won’t be long. 

I tell her I’m sorry but we have a reservation here and she needs to get up.

She then says she’s looking for something, she searches thru her purse, finds her lipstick, puts it on.

I say, I’m sorry; I need you to get up.

She turns around looks at me and says, we are never coming back here and spending $800 dollars again. 

I say, I’m sorry to hear that, but you have a good day now. 

She gets up and moves to the end of the bar near stool #1. 

I follow her and say, I’m sorry but I’m going to have to ask you to move to away from the bar.  You need to move to the host area. 

She huffs and leaves, walking out the front door with her pint glass in her hand.

I don’t see her again. 

I go by the bar about 30 minutes later and the guy sitting at stool #1, says hello.  He’s there with his wife, and parents, they are very, very, regulars. 

I chat with them and apologize for the interaction they had to witness.

He says, when that happened I turned to my family and said, Jeff has always been nothing but gracious and kind with us, but I wonder if he has a side we haven’t seen when he is pushed. 

I chuckle and say absolutely.

I tell them about being told I’m a fucking bad manager.

He says, you should write these stories down and publish a book when you retire.

I laugh to myself. 

Yes.  Why yes I should. 

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Last night was an especially fun night.

We hosted an afterhours, after wedding party. 

We hosted one last year and it was great. 

Not one restaurant in our little town stays open till 1:00 a.m. any more.  Not one. 

We used to have a brew pub and a couple of other places that would stay open as late as legally possible. 

They all changed during the pandemic and they have never gone back to their old hours. 

This isn’t a problem, except that it leaves weddings with no place to go when the reception wraps up at 10:00. 

So, last year we were approached to stay open and host people after a wedding.  And we did it, and it was easy.

This year, we booked one of these parties and it was last night.

It should have been easy…

First, I should say we are not a late night venue.  We are an upscale restaurant which agreed to let people come to us at the end of the night.  We don’t have a dance floor.  We don’t have a fancy sound system.  We don’t have a late night venue. 

So the revelers are bussed in after the wedding.  No one is driving.

The first bus arrived at a little before 11:00.

I’ll repeat that they pay us a lot of money, for a 2 hour party.    They arrived at 11:00.  They have to leave at 1:00 or they are stuck five miles from their hotel as they buses do not come back. 

The bride and groom were the first in the door. 

We say our hellos.  I tell her I’m disappointed she is not in her wedding dress because that’s the best part of wedding events. 

We do all of this, and they go in to the bar.

90 seconds later the groom appears to ask about music. 

They had emailed me a month ago to tell me they’d be having a DJ at the after party and he’d need to be able to set up around 8:30. 

I emailed back and explained that that would not be happening.  First, no one was interrupting dinner service.  And the neighbors would shut the party down if the music was loud.  They responded saying that they’d bring a small speaker and make that work.

Seems that didn’t happen.

So the groom, who is a close talker, is now 3 inches from my face talking to me about our sound system.  He wants to email me a playlist to play.  I keep telling him that that won’t work. 

He keeps insisting that it will.

He emails me.  I log into my email on our I-pad.  But it won’t work, because I can’t access the playlist on SONOS. 

He then wants to plug his phone into our system.  I explain that we use SONOS so nothing is plugged in.  It’s access through wifi. 

He then wants the Wi-Fi password, and I explain that only chef has the SONOS Wi-Fi password and that won’t be happening. 

He literally, spend 25 minute of his after party trying to deal with music.

Finally he gives up and goes into the bar.  

And about 20 minutes later 2 bros appear.  Also close talkers. 

Yo.  Can we change the music?  Can we plug into the system?  Can you turn it up?  Can we, can we, we, in the most broy way possible.

It was when they said that not being able to log into the music system was stupid that I finally lost my cool and said, I’m tired of having this conversation.   They start backtracking, you we are just trying to help, we didn’t mean to be offensive, yada, yada, yada.  They backed off.

10 minutes later one of the same bros came up and said can I get the Wi-Fi password?  I replied we don’t have Wi-Fi (we don’t have public Wi-Fi.  Not even our employees have access to our wifi).  He said no seriously.  I said, I’m being serious.  We don’t have public Wi-Fi.

He replied that’s stupid too.  Saw my face and left. 

Here’s where the story gets fun. 

The bride and groom signed a contract before we agreed to host the event.

There was a liability section about people arriving without ID’s, arriving drunk and bringing outside liquor. 

I sent an email to them reminding them of the policies a week before the event.  They assured me everyone knew about the rules including the ID’s. 

We carded everyone who came in.  Even the people who were older.  My policy. 

The second bus arrives and a couple of people walk in with drinks in their hands.  I ask them to give them to me, and they reluctantly do. 

About 15 minutes later, a new group comes in. 

The host is checking ID’s when I notice a guy is holding a plastic cup.  I walk around to him and tell him I’ll need to take the drink.  He take a big swig thru the straw in a fuck you sort of way. 

I say to him again, I need the drink and he pushes his way outside and continues to drink the drink.  I say one last time, you need to give that to me and he finishes the drink. 

And I say, I hope you enjoyed that because you aren’t coming in now.

(My host pointed out later, he insisted on finishing his watered down drink, just before he went into a party with an open bar.  He could have had 10 more inside).

He looked at me like I was crazy. 

I repeated myself.  You are not coming in.  The bus is right about to leave, I’d get on it if I were you, because you are going to be stuck here and you are definitely not coming in. 

He starts to protest, and I say, you had your chance, and you made a decision not to comply so you aren’t coming in. 

He then tells me he traveled from Europe to be here and he’s coming in and I explain that in fact that’s not happening.

His friend starts to protest, and I cut him off and say, if you want to join him in not coming in you’ll drop it and leave it alone.  He starts to protest again and I repeat, keep it up and you won’t come in either. 

He starts to walk in and his girlfriend appears and she gets involved and I share my message again.  Drop it and go inside, or you can all go back to your hotel.

They move inside. 

The guy with the booze paces back and forth in the parking lot.  It’s clear he’s not used to being told no. 

I think it’s over, when who should appear but booze boy’s mother. 

She’s having NONE of this. 

She starts in. 

Have you told my son that he can’t come in?

I tell her yes.

She asks why.

I explain what happened. 

She says to me, we’ve traveled from Scotland and Germany to be here, it’s a cultural misunderstanding. 

I laugh, and say I’m not sure what that’s supposed to mean but he’s an adult and should know better.

She tries once again to make me understand that it’s because he is from away, that it happened. 

I say, later to my host, that I wish I’d said at this point, he’s acting very American for someone from away.

She’s still not taking no for answer. 

She continues getting louder and more aggressive. 

I finally say to her, I was very clear with the contract the bride and groom signed that if any outside alcohol was brought in, it was grounds to end the party, send everyone home with no refund.

I look at the boy’s mother and say, this can either be over or I can let the bride and groom know that your son caused their party to be cancelled. 

She says something else smart, and I look at her and say, MY PARTY, MY RULES.

She scowls at me and says, YOUR PARTY HUH!

She left and I didn’t see either of them again. 

The only other thing of note was the drunk man who was standing in the kitchen window (we have an open kitchen) and reached through the window and took food off the platter that one of our chef’s was plating.  5 seconds later he did it again and our CHEF told him to knock it off.

I kind of wish he’d pinched him with his tongs which is what he does to the food runners when they lean on the window. 

And with that the night was over. 

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Update to the single diner woman from the other day.

Seems that after the host told her to she’d have to wait 10 minutes to be seated, she went back to the outside bar and checked in with the host. 

The host told her she could be seated, and so the woman said, will I be able to have my food, eat, and be out in 20 minutes. 

The host said probably not.

The woman was outraged, that it might take more than 20 minutes to get food and eat. 

That’s when she came back inside, to give me her opinion. 

If I’d known this I’d have suggested Burger King out by the highway. 

15 minute drive. 

5 minutes for food. 

And flame broiled.  Just like us. 

’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Let’s start with the good news tonight.

The restaurant has been killing it this summer.

KILLING IT!!!

The numbers we are doing are stupid.

In a good way.

Tonight was the easiest shift I’ve ever had and it we did 30 covers less than our busiest night ever and we could have easily handled many, many more people.

Today was the last day of July.

Chef and I spent some time chatting about the numbers for the month.

After we finished, I started diving deep.

We did almost 1,500 more covers this July than last July. And that resulted in an almost 40% increase in revenue. 40%!

And the people just keep coming.

And I love it. Love it. Love it.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

My favorite recent review: Trip Advisor:

Poor quality Bone-in Ribeye! The ribeye was very difficult to cut, because it was mostly comprised of hard gristle and fat. The quality of this beef was absolutely poor! I never leave a bad review, only complimentary. However, I am writing this review because the host/manager was extremely arrogant, smug, unprofessional and unaccommodating! Our waiter was excellent! I will never go here again, as there are many better restaurants in the area, and I would not recommend this restaurant!

I love getting compliments. Smug. Arrogant. Unprofessional. Unaccommodating.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Fun fact. A Ribeye has fat. It has gristle. It has a bone.

You should have ordered the filet.

That is all.

I’m going to arrogantly post this in all of my smugness.

Happy Reading.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I walked into the lobby behind a woman tonight.  She was walking out and I thanked her for coming in.

She turned and said, Oh I haven’t eaten yet. 

She then told me she had moved north of us but still belonged to the country club and so she comes down every so often.  Her friends have repeatedly told her to eat here.  So here she is.  She is about to sit down to eat by herself.

I get excited as I always do when someone is new.  I tell her to enjoy her meal and to check in with me before she leaves as I want to hear her feedback. 

And out the door she goes. 

I look up ten minutes later and she is back. 

She has decided she doesn’t want to eat outside after all.  The hosts tells her that she’ll be seated in just a few minutes.

I walk away.

A few minutes later the host comes to find me and says that the one had walked out of the restaurant angry.  Then came back, still angry and had asked for me saying, that I’d asked for feedback and she was going to give it to me.  UGH!!!

I get there and she says just that…then continues.

She is angry that the host told her that she’d have to wait 10 minutes to be seated. 

UKRAINE!

I stand there staring at her.

She continues.

She tells me all of the following.

She had arrived and wanted seats at the bar.  The host told her it was be just a minutes as someone was about to get up. 

The woman then says, well can I just get a table.  The host says, yes I can seat you in our gallery.  So the woman insists that she be shown to the gallery to approve of the table. 

They come back and the woman decides she might like to sit on the patio.

She goes out back and comes back about 6 or 7 minutes later and tells the host that it’s too hot and she’d like to be seated at the bar after all. 

The host tells her it will be about 10 or so minutes and the woman gets mad and goes back to the patio.

But alas, the table on the patio was sat after she went back inside.

She is inside now and is being told she’d have to wait 10 minutes and that’s outrageous. 

And this is where the problem starts.

The woman left and so the host sat someone else at the bar.   There is another opening but it’s going to be a few minutes.  The patio table was sat by me, with a walk in. 

The woman is outraged that we didn’t save a table for her.

She continues and continues.

I finally say, mam, I don’t understand the problem, 10 minutes isn’t so long to wait.  But I’ve already been here for 20 minutes. 

She keeps on, getting more and more worked up about how horribly she has been treated and how it’s completely unacceptable that she should be made to wait.

I repeat that 10 minutes isn’t a long time. 

She keeps going and finally says, I guess I’ll be seated now.

And I look at her, and say, uh.  You know what.  I think at this point everyone, including you would be happier if you ate elsewhere.  So I’m going to ask you to leave at this point. 

She was angry but left.

Here’s the thing.  She’d have never been asked to wait if she’d been willing to sit in any of the first three options she’d been given.