We had a business owner in tonight who owns a restaurant just over the state line.

The arrived at 5:00.

They are seated immediately. Well sort of. They weren’t happy with their table and it took a second to get them a table they approved of.

Two of the four.

The other two arrive at 5:30.

And they sit. And sit. And sit.

At 6:30 they still haven’t ordered.

It’s approaching 7:00 when they order.

Then they sit and sit and sit.

They are still at the table at 8:00. The server has missed her second turn.

And they sit.

They finally pay their check.

And one of their credit cards is declined.

So they sit and sit.

They finally leave.

The out did themselves.

They tipped a nice 20% in their check.

After 3+ hours.

But the story doesn’t end there.

Turns out they were impressed with the server. And the business they own is a restaurant. And they try to poach the server. Asking her if she’d like to come work for them.

So.

They sit 3+ hours.

Tip like a normal person.

Then try to poach my employee.

Not cool folks. Not cool.

The phone rings yesterday.

I answer.

Hello. Thanks for calling. How may I help you?

Do I really need to give a credit card number to make a reservation?

Yes. You do.

So I have to make a deposit before I even order. What if I don’t spend that much?

No. You are not putting down a deposit. You are required to give us a credit card to ensure you show up.

What does that even mean. Of course we’ll show up.

We’ll actually, many people make reservations and they don’t show up for them.

So because of them you are going to charge me?

No. We only charge you if you don’t show up!

We’ll why do you charge me before I eat.

This conversation goes on for ten minutes.

Finally.

She exclaims she is from Boston and eats at the finest restaurants and no one has ever charged her a deposit to eat in their restaurant.

……..

……..

I don’t have it in me to explain a tenth time.

…….

……….

She hangs up.

Seriously!!!

This was a first.

Tonight a server approaches to let me know the I table brought their own beer. They poured it into a glass on the table.

Seriously. WTF?

I approach the table.

They know why I am there.

I explain that they can’t bring In their own beer.

They explain it’s non alcoholic. So it’s okay.

I explain that according to state law it’s absolutely not.

I pick up the glass and the woman begins to explain our non alcoholic beer is awful so she brought her own.

I tell her I appreciate that but I can’t allow her to bring her own.

We continue to chat.

By the end of the exchange we are best friends.

Last summer, at my first job, we had an incredibly angry guest at the bar. I approach them and in the end they were eating out of my hand. My bartender commented on how good I was at turning things around.

She was working tonight, so I approached her to tell her about tonight. And to quote her, when you’re on. You’re on.

They even stopped by to say goodbye on their way out!!!

Around 6:45 a server approaches to let me know table 31 has a refire. Their steak was a little under cooked for their liking.

I thank her for letting me know. Then approach the kitchen so that I can run the plate. When possible I run every recook.

By this time the server has let me know the women sharing the steak aren’t happy, saying they said having to send the steak back was a buzz kill.

The steak comes up, I take it to the table. I check in with them. And leave. They seem okay but not great.

Fast forward to the end of their meal. I meet them in the lobby. The host asks how their meal was.

They say, we’ll we are glad you ask, and then launch in to their rant. If we are going to do steak we should do it perfectly every time. And the least we could have done is bought their drinks for ruining their meal.

I stand in the corner and listen. I don’t engage. They said at least four times they shouldn’t have had to pay for their drinks.

They leave.

I did not see the steak they sent back. So I have no idea if it was truly under. But after almost a year of being at the restaurant it’s really more about people not understanding medium rare.

But they definitely were not going to get free drinks.

Fun fact: Do you know what absolutely no one in the history of the world appreciates?

You. And your friends. FaceTiming on speaker phone in public.

Not me. Not my friends. Not anyone.

Last night around 7:15 five women gather on the sofa in the lobby to FaceTime with their friend who couldn’t join them. This went on for about 15 minutes.

It’s really not fun to try and talk on the phone and greet guests when you can’t hear yourself think.

So do everyone a favor and go outside. It was warm last night. Everyone will be grateful.

Thank you!

Ohhhhhh the woes of taking reservations this week.

Let’s see.

We had a group of six make three two top reservations at the bar because they couldn’t get a six top reservation.

They called to ask to sit together, and I explained that I couldn’t make that happen but I I could get them a table for six. The lady exclaims, that’s what we wanted all along.

Then you should have called the restaurant as instructed.

We had another woman show up at 5:15 for a 5:15 reservation then explained that they had a 7:30 reservation as well but they couldn’t figure out how to cancel it.

We had a woman walk in at 5:30 to get sat. Then she came back up to cancel her 7:00 reservation.

We had a couple show up for bar reservations that insisted they had a reservation for a booth. They did not.

I had a man call for a party of 10 in June get angry because he couldn’t get 6:30. He had waited and called and how the hell were we already booked.

I never explain that we aren’t booked we just won’t take a large party at 6:30. He yelled at me for a good ten minutes.

Had a woman call who has a 16 top reservation in July. I explain that anything over 10 is a special menu and that if she emailed me I’d send her a proposal.

She complained that she got a reservation for 16 last summer. Which she did not. The largest reservation we took last summer was 12.

She complained that we didn’t have a special menu last summer. I explain it’s a new policy for the summer.

She then asks if she can just get 4 four top reservations. I explain that I can’t take those reservations for another month and they be for 5:00, 5:15, 5:30, and 6:00. And they would not be seated together.

She finally hung up on me.

I was reading through reservations for next month and a person booked a 5 top then put in the notes that they are actually 10 people.

Seriously. Who does this?

It’s one thing to be 5 but 10? But what will they do when they show up and I don’t have a table for 10?

That’s all.

It’s been a good 24 hours for reservations.

Just like a billion other restaurants, my restaurant offered takeout at the start of the pandemic. As with most places it was do or die and everyone was doing everything they could until things got better.

I didn’t work there then, so I don’t know how long it went on, but it didn’t last long. Our food is not conducive to a cardboard box. It does not travel well.

By the time PPP loans came along, and things started to open up, take out was a thing of the past.

We still get calls for take out.

Our standard answer is that we don’t do take out.

However, we still get people who insist that when they called last time we did it.

We did not. Unless they last called in April of 2020.

Over the weekend a guy called for takeout. I answered and shared that we don’t do takeout.

He insisted we used to.

I explained that that was 2 years ago.

He then asked if he could come in, sit at a table and ask for his food to go.

I explained that no he could not, because we don’t do take out.

He huffed and puffed.

Then hung up.

Here’s a fun fact about take out.

Most.

Most, but not all upscale restaurants don’t do takeout.

Why you ask?

Because the presentation of the food is as important as the taste. Does anything look appetizing after being in a box for 25 minutes?

Also it slows the kitchen down.

Unless take out is part of your business model I’ve yet to see a kitchen that handles take out well.

Last summer my other restaurant did a lot of takeout. And everyone in the kitchen hated it. Where are the lids to the ramekins? Did no one stock take out utensils? What do you mean they want one of each of our dressings for their salad? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. That was supposed to be a grilled chicken sandwich mayo on the side not a fried fish sandwich.

And inevitably the runner who put the order together would mix things up.

And I’d get yelled at on the phone.

So.

We don’t do take out.

Sorry.

We often get comments that say we are expensive.

We are not inexpensive. But I wouldn’t say we are outrageous for the area. I’d also point out that we are buying the best product we can get. The best meat. The best seafood. The best produce.

You know prices have gone up if you’ve shopped for groceries lately.

We also occasionally get comments that our drinks are too expensive. Trust me. We are not. Our beers on tap are priced to sell considering they are all local craft beers.

Our competitors have drinks pushing 16, 17, 18 dollars an hour. We are not that expensive.

We had a guest comment a week ago or so complain about our wine costs. So much more than at the grocery store.

Why yes. Yes we are more expensive than the grocery store. That’s the way restaurants work. Our business model is very different.

You don’t carry the wine to a counter and pay for it then leave at a restaurant. You are seated, waited on hand and foot. A trained staff caters to your every need. A chef hand prepares the food you consume. A person clears and resets your table. The amount of staff needed is far more than a cashier.

Also most grocery stores don’t have views. They aren’t paying for high profile premium locations.

So yes. You could buy the wine cheaper at the store. But you’d also cook your own supper, clean up your own mess, take out your own garbage.

It defeats the reason we go out to eat in the first place.

Well.

It happened again.

A server comes to the host stand carrying a filet.

She asks to speak to me. Seems table 25 ordered a medium rare filet. She was cooked a filet. And it was medium rare.

It arrives at the table. She cuts into and immediately announces that it’s well done.

She calls the server over and sends it back.

The server takes it to the kitchen.

The chef takes one look at the steak and loses his mind.

The steak is cooked. A picture perfect medium rare.

He takes a breathe and tells the server to find me to tell the guest that it’s a picture perfect medium rare.

So she has found me. And I see the steak. And it’s a picture perfect medium rare.

I take the plate. And I go to the kitchen. I check in with the chef. He, as his passionate self, lets me know he won’t cook another steak. He cooked it to order. To the temp she wanted. He is not going to do do it.

So I take the plate to the table.

And I ask what the problem is. And I’m told it’s over cooked. And I explain that it’s absolutely not over cooked. It’s a picture perfect medium rare.

At this point the guest explains that she ordered medium rare to rare.

I don’t even know what to say. There is no such thing as medium rare to rare. It’s either medium rare. Or rare. It can’t be both.

She pushes back.

I explain that we’ll be happy to cook something else for her. Anything except a steak.

She huffs. Waves her arms and says she’s never experienced such rude behavior.

I walk away.

40 minutes later or so they leave. The two women don’t speak to me. One of the husbands stop to chastise me. Telling me how rude I’d been. How inappropriate that I’d been.

I don’t really know how to respond.

Of course I have practiced my response for the next time. I’ll have it ready because it will happen again.

They left a survey review. Said the steak was well done. And that I was rude. I don’t mind being called rude. But I hate when they lie.

More though, they told the server over and over that this was not her fault. She couldn’t help it if the owner and manager are rude. Then promptly tipped her less that 15%.

How much would they have tipped if it had been her fault?

Last night we had a person send back their lamb because it wasn’t hot.

Today we got a review complaint that their steaks weren’t served hot. 

Fun fact: Most main dishes, especially proteins should not be served piping hot.

There is a reason a chef will tell you to let a steak rest before serving it. It will allow the juices to permeate the cooked meat. It will often continue to cook to its proper temperature.

It truly is an older generations belief that if the food doesn’t burn your mouth then it’s not being served properly.

But it’s simply not true.

Occasionally someone will tell me their order isn’t fresh because it’s not piping hot. I assure each order is made to order. Yes mashed potatoes are cooked and batched but even your French fries are cooked when the order comes into the kitchen.

So don’t be surprised if your meal comes to the table warm.

That’s how it’s supposed to be served.