COVID has changed how we think about things.

Exponentially so.

For example, I am back to hugging people but I think about it before I assume someone will hug me back.

I am super self conscious when I cough or sneeze at work.

I wash my hands 100 times more than I used to.

So I’m very aware when two certain behaviors happen at work.

The first is close talkers.

I’ll be standing at the host stand and the next thing I know someone has stretched their head over the stand and it feels like they are 2 inches from my face. They have no sense of personal space.

It makes me nervous. It makes me anxious. And it makes me very very very uncomfortable.

The second is touchers.

My mom was a toucher. She’d walk through a store picking up every item in the aisle. Very studiously examining each one. Berber buying. Just touching.

At work people will come to the host stand and touch my iPad. They touch my pen. They touch the postcards. They touch the phone. They touch the the toothpicks. When they are done they wander around the host area touching everything else.

It drives me crazy.

Even more so when they are both close talkers and touchers.

Our last reservations tonight were at 8:30.

The last table sat arrived 25 minutes late. Ugh.

However, table 21 was sat at 8:25. Awesome. Early.

They stayed until 11:15. The last table before them left at 10:00.

Fun fact: for whatever reason, I don’t mind staying late. I used to hate it. Now I sit and chill, and just wait it out.

That being said, I do feel bad for my staff sometimes.

Table 21 did it right tonight.

They left a $100 tip on a $300 check. We’ll worth the extra time for the server.

The only bad part of staying late is the 45 minute drive home. In the rain.

But alas.

This is still an awesome job.

We use Resy as our reservation system. It has its pro’s and con’s but the one thing I love is that unlike open table their surveys and reviews are only seen by us. They are not seen by the public.

This is mostly awesome because the people who fill out the surveys get their complaints and comments out of their system, so they don’t usually go further with their posts. They don’t post on Yelp or trip advisor.

98% of our surveys are spectacularly wonderful. 95+ plus positive. They praise the food. They praise the service. They praise ambiance.

So we are always disappointed when someone doesn’t have a good experience. Often though their complaints are understood. Over cooked steak. Hard to get in to. Etc.

Todays 50% rating was not one of those complaints.

The reviewer was upset that our chef wasn’t on the line cooking. They come to eat his food and last night he didn’t cook it.

So I explained to chef that he is only allowed to step away from the line going forward if we close the restaurant. No bathroom breaks. No vacations. No sick days. Don’t visit with your mom while she is here. Don’t work on your cook book while we are slow. Don’t come out front to visit with friends as you did last night.

All kidding aside. Our chef cooks about 90% of the steaks we serve. But everyone deserves a break. Last night friends were in. His mom is also in town. Sometimes he steps off the line to cut meat. Sometimes he works upstairs on new menu items. Sometimes he his upstairs cleaning the stock room, his cook book or our new wine list.

Who really thinks a chef/owner can’t step away to be a person?

Wait till he finds out that colonel sanders doesn’t cook at Kentucky Fried Chicken. Or Wendy’s is staffed by teenagers. Or that Red Robin has nothing to do with birds.

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/new-reservation-rules-for-the-restaurant-that-hosted-the-last-supper?fbclid=IwAR2pzDPrfvnbxDMuFnNqQ_cQz8pEwFfhqDBGcaeCCpN56xEmG55VMWtyXmQ

Today.

Was.

A

Day.

First I couldn’t sleep last night. Perhaps because of my full belly and the meat sweats. Perhaps because of the cappuccino I had at dinner. Perhaps it was that we had the lights off by 12:15 last night.

I couldn’t fall asleep. I couldn’t stay asleep.

I toss and turn all night. At around 10:00 I check my phone. It’s 10:00. I don’t have to be up for two more hours.

But.

There’s a text from an employee.

I think. I’ll deal with that later.

I try to go back to sleep.

I continue to toss and turn. I read Facebook for a bit. Try to sleep. Toss. Turn.

Eventually the alarm goes off at 11:30.

I pick up my phone.

My employee has pulled her back. It will be fine. I’m just sad she’s dealing with it again. I’ve been there and know how much it can hurt.

I also know that we’d have probably made a cut anyway so we’ll be staffed okay.

Then I check email.

I scan them to see if there are any fires to put out.

Fun fact. There are never fires at my current job. No one emails me to say what the fuck from the night before. It’s nice.

There are no fires, but one email is my staff line up from our scheduling tool. I open it since I know at last one person will be out.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

A new employee is starting today. In my head I thought she was coming in on Friday.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

It’s not that big of a deal but none of my employee documents are printed.

I get up. Get my day started.

I shower. Make lunch. Leave for work.

I’m almost to the highway when I realize that I need gas. I’m really bad about paying attention to the gas tank.

I have to detour to get gas.

Now I’m going to be late.

This isn’t great because I have a meeting at 1:15.

Now I’m not going to have time to check messages first.

I get there. Make a coffee.

Meet with chef.

This is interrupted by deliveries. By phone calls.

We get through our lists. It’s 1:49. I have 11 minutes to get ready for my new employee.

I open my computer just as she appears from the dining room. I explain I’m printing a few things and I’ll be right with her.

I print. Print. Print. Print. Print.

Since last season I’ve put together about 500 pages of training materials. Menu descriptions. Drink and wine list. Updated employee manual. Server training guidelines. Server manual.

It’s 2:02 when I print the last document.

I do my new employee meeting. A tour. We go over the menu. We go over the cuts of meats. I tell her the difference between a t-bone and a porterhouse. I tell her about the grills. We go through the handbook. We go through the server guide. I get to my favorite part, my speech on hospitality. I discuss restaurant culture. I discuss my approach to the guest. I discuss how I think of guests as people in my living room. How the guest is not always right but deserves to be heard.

I look up.

It’s 4:00.

I haven’t checked email. I haven’t done phone calls.

And then I remember we are rolling out the new beverage/wine list.

Fuck.

I need to get the new cocktails into the POS.

I get that done.

It’s now 4:20. Pre-shift starts in 10 minutes.

I find my list. I pee. I get a water.

It’s 4:30.

Pre-shift goes long. New drinks. New expo procedures. My list of things. The daily specials. It’s 4:50.

We have to be open in 10 minutes.

We get the doors open at 5:02.

It’s show time. A quiet start but show time just the same. First turn is quiet. By 7:00 we are cranking.

As soon as it starts it’s over.

Around 8:30 I realize I never ate the lunch I packed. My head is hurting.

Around 9:00 I sit down. With my lunch.

My staff starts to wrap up. We are tasting new cocktails. I meet with the new employee. She did great.

Everyone is gone by 9:15. Except table 31. And one poor server. Table 31 sat at 6:30. They are two older women who haven’t seen each other in 30 years. It’s a little after 10 when they finally leave.

Server finishes up.

I’m done a few minutes later.

My checklist is done.

But I’m standing in the dining room trying to figure out what I’m forgetting to do.

What am I forgetting? I recheck the thermostats. I check the front door. I recheck the gallery. Nope. Surely I’m being paranoid.

I go through the kitchen. Check the coffee station. Check the hoods. Turn off the lights. Lock the door.

Get into my car.

I text Adam to let him know I’m leaving.

I start my car and drive around the building to the road only to see that every light in the dining room is on.

That’s what I was forgetting.

I go back to the back door. Go in. Turn off all the lights. Retrace my steps.

Drive home.

It was a day and I get 2/10ths of what I needed to get done accomplished.

But alas.

Tomorrow is another day.

Hi all.

First id like to say thanks for all the birthday wishes.

More than anything though I’d like to say thank you to everyone who said happy birthday AND that they like my manager posts.

I live in a bubble.

I only know you read if you comment or like the posts. .

But.

I’ve learned lots of you read without commenting or liking.

A lot of you shared this today.

What was super impressive was how many theater friends shared that they read my posts.

I always feel like I’ve let people down by giving up my theater career. And without tooting my own horn, I was pretty good at lighting. Actually better than pretty good.

So to have several of my theater colleagues reach out to say they enjoy my posts today made my day.

I love my life. But would not trade my graduate school experience for all the money in the world. I’ll be paying for it till I’m dead, but it will always be three of the best years of my life.

So thank you for not judging me. For supporting me. For loving me!

I love all of you as well.

In case any of you weren’t paying attention, last March I started a new job. I needed to open a new restaurant which included hiring FOH and BOH staff.

It turned out to be a shit show.

I started in the middle of March. And by the first of April I was reaching out to everyone I knew looking for staff.

Lorrie. Katherine. Tara. Lexie. Garrett. Stephanie. Joe.

One of these folks had been a sous chef with me at David’s.

I texted him and asked if he was looking for a change.

He said no.

And then mentioned that his owner was looking for a GM.

I asked about the salary and he sent a laughing emoji.

And then mentioned he was friends with my current boss.

Ugh.

But the new job was still exciting.

So I moved on.

A week or so later, I got a phone call from a 502 number.

Kentucky.

I did not answer.

They leave a message.

It’s the ex-owner of a previous restaurant that hated me. Calling to see if I’d be interested in a new job.

Seriously. What. The. Fuck.

I don’t call back.

Two days later, I’m sitting in the dining room of my new restaurant and my current boss walks in to see the new space. I’m introduced. I pretend to not know who he is.

Fast forward three months.

My new job is a shit show. I text my old friend and ask if they are still looking.

They are.

24 hours later I’m sitting in an interview.

And the rest is history.

And today was that friends last day at my restaurant. He’s moving on to a new chapter.

Long way of saying to my friend who reads these posts:

Thank you. My current job is awesome. Even on its worstest worstest days it’s pretty fucking awesome.

Thank you for acknowledging my talent. Charisma. Uniqueness. Nerve and Talent.

Thank you for inviting me into your fold and letting me do what I do.

And most of all best of luck in the next chapter of your life. Whatever it turns out to be.

Now. Sashay away.

And since this is not a baseball, gold, hockey, basketball reference you won’t understand that reference. But is said with all the love in the world.

Good luck Joe.

Love you and thank you more than you’ll ever know.

I was reading through some old texts for my next post and found this.

This was five days after I started my current job. Truly my first manager post.

The person who sent it to me said, keep that energy. The big guy loved it.

And keep it I shall.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I posted earlier in the week about how someone had gotten upset about a post.

I’ve learned a lot about that experience.

The biggest lesson:

There is so much more to write about than guests.

I’ve written mostly about myself this week. And I’ve shared with you some of the ways I’m vulnerable at work.

And it’s been freeing.

Yes our guests are still crazy. But that’s not exclusive to my restaurant. Working in the public encourages that.

But there are lots of other things that happen.

So I am going to commit to sharing some of my other struggles at work.

Im an equal opportunity poster.

PS. If you’re reading this you can now post a comment without registering with WordPress.

I’m an old man. Just a few days shy from being even older.
But.

I really appreciate the knowledge I gain everyday.

The most important lesson I’ve learned is that it is always beneficial to be vulnerable. It’s always beneficial to be honest. It always beneficial to own your faults.

When I took my first job as GM I committed myself to owning my performance. Good or bad. You get the best me.

For example. My first season, I over paid 6 servers a grand total of 3,500 dollars. I’d put them in payroll at a training wage and never changed it.

I called both my bosses and owned it. Trust me. It has never happened again.

And there were no repercussions. Just a reminder to be more careful next time.

I also own my mental health at work. I’ve had a million employees who suffer from depression, anxiety, bi polar disorder, borderline personality disorder.

I own my own issues as a way to let my staff know they are in a safe space. In fact I learned, with some coaching from my staff, that if I ask to see someone in the office to follow the request with you’re not in trouble. This after one employee had convinced herself I was going to fire her any minute.

So I have learned vulnerability is a good thing.

And I had a fucking great night at work tonight.

I apologized exactly three times. And by owning my size, my presence, my self I took up a lot less space tonight. And I told myself several times that I’m not in your way, you are in my way.

It felt great.

So friends. Be vulnerable. Be honest. Own your mistakes. Own your presence. Own your size.

Be you.

Good.

Bad.

Whatever.

Don’t apologize for being a person.

Don’t apologize for being you!!!