family

Wishing you were somehow here again.

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I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

My latest writing prompt:

Write about a door you’ve walked through that you can’t go back through.

I got this suggestion a week ago and I’ve thought about it a lot, but I keep coming back to the same story. Every time.

In 2007, I spent the summer in Tulsa, Oklahoma designing the lights for The Music Man, Naughty Marietta, and Sweeney Todd. It was an adventure to say the least. I was sleeping in a dorm room, with a roommate, and at 42, it was weird as fuck.

I was doing summer stock, 20 years after I should have been doing summer stock. That being said, as everyone I’ve ever spoken to about summer theater, it was wonderful and terrible all at the same time.

The lead actors in the shows, that played in rep, were all professionals. They were all incredibly talented. The choruses were mostly made up of college kids, who were doing their first professional gigs. I can say that a lot of the people I worked with there have gone on to bigger careers, whether performing, directing or designing.

Eric who ran the theater company, and directed the show, was very creative, and the shows were always a little outside the norm, which made them fun to do. For example, for Sweeney, we pulled all the masking, and upstage soft goods and performed the show on scaffolding in front of a dramatic upstage concrete wall.

The work was fast and furious. The rehearsal period short, tech even shorter. I wrote 400 cues for Sweeney in about 4 hours. At the end of every break, it was like someone fired a starter pistol, and I was now sprinting toward the finish line. Looking back, there are lots of things I would change, but it in the moment, it just felt good to get it where we got it.

The highlight of my summer there was meeting Kelly Irwin. She was the production stage manager, and we became fast friends. Probably because, well not probably, we were the adults in the room. All of the lead actors were housed in donor homes, while the chorus, crew and designers were housed in a dorm. It was Kelly who reminded people to stop drinking and go to bed. It was Kelly, who demanded we all hide in the bathroom during the torrential thunderstorms we got that summer when the tornado sirens were sounding.

Kelly and I spent many nights hiding in her dorm room decompressing from the day. Sometimes this involved drinking. Sometimes vodka.

Fun fact: The evening I’m about to describe, was the second to last night I ever drank vodka. It was bad news. The last time was even worse, a year later. I NEVER drink it now.

On the night in question, Kelly and I hid. And in the process, we began to talk. About our lives. About our professions. About the summer. At one point, it turned to families, and then death and dying.

And then something clicked and we began to talk about become a member of the dead parent club. My father had died four summers prior, her mom the summer before. And we went down a deep, melancholy rabbit hole, and stayed there until around 4:00 a.m.

Ultimately, what we decided was that it’s a door no one wants to walk thru, but that most of us will walk thru at some point in our lives. We don’t think about the mortality of our parents when we are young. They are fixtures in our lives, fixtures that will be there forever.

Then your grandparents fade away. And one day you wake up and realize that when you thought your parents were old, they weren’t. Now that you are in your 40’s they are getting older and much frailer. The summer of my 20-year high school reunion, I had at least three friends, including myself who lost parents that summer.

I can still remember getting the call that my dad had passed. It was quick. It was sudden. One minute he was there. Next minute he wasn’t.

And this is what Kelly and I delved into that fateful night. It was a club that no one wants to belong to, but is inevitable, if you make it yourself. Looking back, I don’t remember for sure, but it might have been the night of the one year anniversary of Kelly’s mom dying.

It’s been almost 20 years since that summer. I’m in the orphan stage now. Both of my parents are gone. That’s even weirder door to walk thru. There is no one to call on Sunday night to talk about the weather. There is no one to call who can update you on the family drama. And suddenly you are alone in keeping the family stories alive.

I know all of this is life. It’s the reality of growing old, for those of us lucky enough to grow old. Once you get that phone call, saying “they’re gone,” there is no going back. It changes you forever, regardless of your relationship with said parent.

So I sit here, reminiscing about that summer. Pete. Travis. Eric. Ron. Brian. Supreet. Jenna. Kyle. Andrea. So many memories. I signed up for Facebook that summer. My first photo was of a bar that we’d been in earlier in the night. I had no idea what Facebook was, but I was able to sign up since my UCSD email address was still valid. We all stayed in touch for a while after that summer. Kelly moved to NYC and we hung out. Others I’d text. Most of them I followed on Facebook, till they moved on or my political posts drove them away. I still like to see what those that remain are up to. Some getting married. Buying houses. Directing shows. Performing on well-regarded stages. Designing beautiful shows. It’s still nice to know they are out there. They were a great group of people.

The two summers that I spent there changed my life. All for the better, although I might not have said that at the time. I’m proud of my work there, and the friends that I made. And the talk filled night with Kelly, is still one of the special nights of my life.

You left me lists, everything in lists, well, your little lists, aren’t very helpful, I fear

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I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

A friend of mine and Adam’s is friends with someone who teaches writing. During our last trip to NYC we had a quick meet up and we chatted about my Manager Posts. I mentioned that Adam had been giving me prompts as sometimes I had a difficult time coming up with a subject matter, especially since I don’t write much about the restaurant business anymore, although let me tell you, the things I could write about keep coming.

This is the latest prompt from her.

What is something in your life, literal or metaphorical, that you wish would miraculously last for a much longer time than it was meant to? What would you do with that extra time?

This one has stumped me for a couple of months. For several reasons.

First, my work schedule, as well as my personal schedule, have not allowed me much time to write.

Second, I’ve not been able to wrap my head around what the prompt actually means.

However, I told myself when I went to bed last night, I was going to write tonight, so here I am.

What is something in your life, literal or metaphorical, that you wish would miraculously last for a much longer time than it was meant to? What would you do with that extra time?

There are so many ways to go with this.

For example, I’ve always been allergic to cats. ALWAYS. My face would swell. My nose would twitch. And then I met Adam. BUT with Adam came Harper. And well, Harper taught me that I could love a cat, take a daily allergy pill and be okay. I was lucky enough to get to spend 2 years with Harper. She let me hold her. She would lay next to me after Adam got up in the morning. And when we she realized she was dying she didn’t bother Adam with her crying. She paced on my side of the bed the last night of her life and I comforted her as best I could.

The next day Adam and I took her to the vet and did one of the hardest things either of us has ever done. He held her while I stroked her back as she took her last breaths. We were both inconsolable.

I wish that I had come in to Adam’s life 5 years prior so that I could have that time with Harper. Well. And Adam too.

In my 61 years on this earth, I have lived a dozen or more lifetimes.

1. My childhood.
2. High School
3. College
4. Atlanta.
5. The University of Kentucky.
6. Cincinnati.
7. NYC.
8. Grad School.
9. NYC.
10. NYC w/ Adam
11. Maine the first year.
12. Maine the next few years.
13. Maine since we bought our house.
14. My senior years.

There has also been love and loss during that time.

1. The death of my grandmother.
2. The death of my father.
3. The death of my mother.
4. The death of my Aunt Doo.
5. My first real boyfriend Jim.
6. My second real boyfriend Sam.
7. My third boyfriend Keith.
8. My fourth “friend” Louis.
9. My fifth boyfriend Sam.
10. My 10th boyfriend Curtis.
11. My 11th and last boyfriend Adam.

There have also been so many jobs!

1. Day’s Inn.
2. Wendy’s.
3. The College Bookstore.
4. Martin’s Printing Press
5. J.C. Penney
6. Bennigan’s.
7. Daryl’s.
8. The Italian Oven.
9. Grad Assistant.
10. High School Teacher.
11. Hard Rock Café.
12. College Teacher.
13. Grad Assistant.
14. Lighting Designer.
15. Restaurant Manager.
16. Office Manager.

There has also been trips.
1. New Mexico with the family.
2. NYC in high school
3. Florida for Spring Break
4. Kansas City
5. Myrle Beach
6. Savanah, Georgia
7. New Orleans
8. Miami
9. London.
10. Paris.
11. London, Paris, Barcelona.
12. Drive across the country.
13. Drive across the country.
14. Drive across the country.
15. Maine
16. Texas.
17. California.
18. NYC.
19. Buenos Aires
20. Ireland

I could keep making lists. But I think I’m using them as a way of not deciding on one thing.

I do think though there are a few things that would really make the top three.

1. Grad School at UCSD. It was three of the most perfect years possible.
2. My 10 day spur of the moment trip to Paris with my friend Michelle.
3. My four day bike ride from NYC to Boston to raise money for AIDS research.

And I think #3 it is.

Tune in tomorrow for the actual post.

On Broadway!

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I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Adam and I attended church today. There is no other way to explain what we experienced. We were moved beyond anything we experienced this week or probably ever.

I won’t speak for him, but the show I saw today at 2:00, is single-handedly the best piece of the theater I have ever seen.

Death of a Salesman.

I’ll give you the back story. I’ve never seen this show.

And fun fact. I’ve never read it.

I was supposed to read it back in 1989, when I was a TA at the University of Kentucky. But. My friend Marie Henderson taught my class Death of a Salesman and I taught her class For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enough.

I knew what the play was about. I knew how it ended. But I didn’t know any of the gritty details. And today, I’m glad to say that that is true. I got to experience the show, without knowing what was coming next and it was stunning.

First of all, script is a work of art. It’s truly brilliant. The way we move from present to past, not always knowing why and when is a amazing. You add to that the performances from today and you get something amazing. I’ve attended lots of serious shows before, but I’ve never sat in an audience where the actors hold the audience in their hands as much as today. There was no noise. No shuffling. No coughing. Complete silence as we watched Nathan Lane and Laurie Metcalf unfold the story we were watching.

When intermission arrived, I felt like I’d been beaten up emotionally. It got worse in act 2.

Adam and I were discussing the choice to have some characters dressed in more modern garb as well as have some props that were modern. I thought it brought home that the play that was written in 1949, is more relative today than ever. We are just wheels in a machine. No matter how much energy and effort we put into our careers, at the end of the day we are all replaceable. Promises made, promises broken. We watch today, as employees are replaced by AI, or let go by DOGE, or their jobs are sent overseas and then we wonder why we are all full of anxiety and depression. You spend 25 years paying on a mortgage, just in time to watch your kids move on and leave the house empty.

By the time we got to the end of Act 2, I was devastated. I couldn’t keep my eyes from welling up as he got closer to the choice he was going to make. I wanted to stop him, but I could also relate to where he was coming from. I wanted to help his boys understand him, but also wanted to punch them in the face and tell them to grow up. The one innocent in all of it was Linda, who did her best.

The design was as terrific as the performances. Not the traditional Death of a Salesman set. It was more abstract, with a red Chevy on stage from almost the beginning. The lighting was evocative and helped tell the story.

When curtain call was over, we walked out of the theater silently. We’d just witnessed something special. It was a good 10 minutes outside, before we really started to discuss the show.

If you can get to NYC, I really suggest you make the effort. Performances like this are once in a lifetime, and I’m so glad I got to experience it

Like a flower, as the dawn is breaking, the memory is fading

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I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

For anyone who cares, it’s only 362 days till my birthday. Be sure to mark your calendar. You’ll want to shop early. My favorite color is blue. And books are always a nice surprise.

If you are paying attention, that means my birthday was three days ago. Marking another year around the sun. I’ve made a lot of these trips in my very short life. And the remaining portion of my life is even shorter. I’m well on my way on the downward slope of the eventual outcome.

It’s funny. The older I get, the less afraid of death I become. It’s inevitable. It’s a part of life, like learning to walk, or learning to read. I watch TV now, seeing actors from shows in the 80’s and 90’s who are no longer with us, like The Golden Girls. I often wonder what their take on their inevitable demise was.

Before you get started, I’m not depressed. I’m actually in a very good mood tonight. Work has been going well. My schedule with my new job has allowed Adam and I to spend a lot of time together. And best of all, I’ve been able to see friends that normally I wouldn’t see at all, because of my restaurant schedule.

However.

I AM getting older. And while I don’t fear death, I’m horribly afraid of losing my memory.

I’ve always had great a long-term memory. There are so many events from my past that are seared into my mind. Learning to ride a bike. Getting spanked by Miss Sarah for jumping on her bed, when she babysat me and my brother. My grandma telling me to get back in the bathroom and wash my hands, because if I had washed them, they wouldn’t be dry. Memories of building stilts out of two by fours at vacation bible school, and then walking on them in my backyard.

I could go on and on. So many stories to share.

What’s scary is that my short-term memory seems to be shot.

I get to the grocery store and know that Adam asked me to pick up three things, but I can only remember two of them. They all started with the letter “C.”

Today at work, I was asked what my favorite bourbon drink was. I replied a Boulevardier. And was asked if that wasn’t based on another drink. I could remember that that drink was made from gin, but I struggled for a good 60 seconds to remember the word for Negroni. I see Laura Benanti on TV all the time, and I can never remember her name. Never. I know her Broadway shows. I know she plays Melania on Stephen Colbert. But I can never remember her name.

I truly fear losing my mind. It scares me that I’m going to wake up one day and have forgotten everything. Forgotten my memories.

But even more frightening is forgetting who Adam is.

I know there are a few things I can do. But mostly, I have to wait and see what genetics have given me. I take after the women in my family as I’ve mentioned before. They all lived to their late 70’s and none of them suffered from memory loss. I pray that I got the same genetic makeup that gave me my “big boned” build.

I think sometimes this is why I write the stories that I do. There is a part of me, that wants to look back at where I’ve been. My life has not been perfect, but it has been an adventure. And I hope that by documenting my stories, when I am in my senior years, my friends, and much younger boyfriend can remind me of these stories.

Meanwhile, I plod along. Reminded daily, that life is short. That tomorrow is not promised. However, I do hope that if I have another 20 or 30 years in me that my memory also has another 20 or 30 years. I don’t want to be a burden. I don’t want to be a vegetable. I don’t want to be sequestered to a home, where Adam visits out of obligation.

And if that is what is in store for me. I’ve told him that I want him to tap me on the shoulder on a lucid day, and say, “Today is the day.” Then he’ll go have drinks with friends, maybe even dinner, and when he gets home, his memories of me will live forever.

Today’s prompt is Forgotten.

Loadin’ up boats wid de bales of cotton, Gettin’ no rest till de Judgement Day.

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I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I was actively involved in theater in high school.  The story of how I got involved is a good one.  

In 8th grade, a friend of mine asked me to go to the speech and drama club meeting with him, during our meeting time.  Back then, clubs met during school hours a few times a month.  I went, was intrigued and so I joined.  I became very active in the speech club competing at tournaments all through 8th grade up through my senior year in high school.  

I went on to studying lighting design and working for a bit in theater.  The friend that talked me into going to that first meeting now works for NASA.  Hmmm.  I have sometimes wondered what I’d have done if I hadn’t gone to that first meeting.  

My love of theater continued into high school.  Looking back, I was pretty bad as an actor and a speech tournament person.  But what I lacked in talent, I made up for with my determination.  I hardly ever missed a weekend of being up at the high school by 8:00, to car pool to high schools across the state.  I have lots of memories of these trips, that I suppose I might share someday.  

I was also involved with the school plays starting in 10th grade.  I was cast at Pop in the hit musical Gypsy.  I had lines, in the third scene of the show, and was never heard from again.  However, I loved the show and to this day, I see it every time I can.  I’ve seen it on Broadway three times.  Seen the national tour with Tyne Daly once.  She is my favorite Rose.  And I’ve seen too many amateur productions to count.  The start of the overture still gives me goosebumps.  

My senior year of high school, the theater club, of which I was an officer, held it’s end of year party.  I don’t remember whose home it was at.  I don’t remember much about it at all. 

Except.  

That it was a costume party.  Because why wouldn’t it be.  It’s a theater party.  

The theme was The Old South.  I may not remember this correctly, cut I’m pretty sure we watched “Gone With the Wind” that night.  But then again, maybe not, but for the life of me, I can’t imagine why else the theme would be the old south. 

I wracked my brain for weeks about what to do for a costume.  I didn’t have a lot of money.  And I didn’t consider myself very imaginative.  And I certainly didn’t want to spend money on a confederate soldier uniform.  (Of course I might have been able to borrow one from many of the Kappa Alphas on campus at our local college).  

Finally, I had an epiphany. 

I could go as a carpet bag. 

Not a carpet bagger.  But the bag itself. 

My stepfather, built a frame out of wood and the stretched blue shag carpet all around it.  We then added fabric straps that would go over my shoulders and a cardboard piece that went over my head to form the handle.  

It was not easy to move in.  And I had to be helped into the costume once we were there.  And I had to be helped into the house as well.  Everyone was super confused when they saw me, but they all laughed when I explained that I was a carpet bag.  

At the end of the night, little awards were given and I won the award for Best Costume.  The prize was a book about movie musicals that I still have to this day.  

Somewhere, in a box of photos, I have a picture of me, wearing the carpet bag.  I promise I will find it this summer and post it.  

Now.  

For tonight’s post the prompt was cotton.  I have no idea why?  I’m not sure Adam knows why.  

It’s a long shot, to connect my post with cotton, but as soon as he mentioned cotton, I started singing, I wish I was in the land of cotton, old times there are not forgotten. 

Of course, I could have written about my first visit to Texas to meet his family.  

He’s from Memphis, Texas, in the Panhandle about an hour from Amarillo.  As he drove me into town, from the highway, I remember passing miles and miles of plants with white stuff hanging off them.  I curiously asked him what that was and learned it was cotton. 

I don’t think I’d ever seen cotton plants before.  

However, after his prompt last night I googled whether Memphis, Texas produced cotton.  And fun fact, they are the known as being the cotton capital of the Panhandle.  The largest producer, has been in business for over 50 years.  

So my prompt is cotton. 

To the ones who have come from away, welcome to the rock!

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I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I grew up pretty poor. We didn’t starve. We’re never homeless. But there were times my parents struggled to keep the lights on and food on the table. That being said, my mother always made sure we went to school clean and that our clothes had no holes in them.

We also moved a lot when I was a kid. I think it’s one of the reasons I’ve moved a lot as an adult. We never stayed for long anywhere. My dad would lose his job. The landlord would decide to let his sister rent our house. My favorite reason was the owner decided he didn’t want to rent to people with kids.

I was also a grownup kid. I always wanted to be with the adults and even though they tried to keep the struggles from me, I was acutely aware of our finances even as young as 7 or 8. I rarely asked for expensive things and tried to keep my Christmas wishes realistic.

My father was always coming up with creative ways to improve our situation. Once he bought two keeshond puppies. Pure breads that he was going to breed and sell for hundreds if not thousands of dollars. I’m embarrassed now at how they were treated. I’m pretty sure they died tied to a chain in our backyard. They never had puppies and we never made any money off them.

Another one of his brilliant ideas, was to buy into a housing development in Burnside, Kentucky. Over the course of a couple of years, he and my mom bought three undeveloped lots in a development that was going to be the next big thing in the community. The lots were adjacent to each other. He was going to hang on to them until their value grew, OR he was going to build us a home and we’d move there.

I remember being so excited the first time we drove there. For those of you NOT from Kentucky. Burnside is south of Somerset. Somerset is in the southern part of Kentucky about an hour and a half from Lexington. I can’t speak to traveling there now, but in 1975 it was a two lane road, traveling through multiple small towns.

Every so often we’d all pile in the car and my father would announce that we were going to check out “the lots.” We’d sit in the back of the car, my mom chain smoking in the front, watching the sites go by. After what seemed like hours, my father would announce that we were here.

As an eight-year old, I had no concept of what a quality piece of land should be, but I knew this was NOT a quality piece of land. It was rocky. It was overgrown with weeds. There were hardly any homes built in the development. Although my favorite was the A-frame homes on equally crappy land.

We’d climb out of the car and stand on the edge of the street, while my father walked “the lots.” Three equally rocky lots. He’d tell us where the house would go. What he was going to do. I’d try to stay out of the overgrown weeds, because I didn’t want chiggers. And truth be told there really was NOT much to look at.

After a while, we’d get back in the car and drive home. I don’t remember stops. I don’t remember lunch. I don’t remember anything other than the drive down, the 30 minutes admiring the land, and the drive home.

However, one time, my father took a detour after we left “the lots.”

We went to the location of Old Burnside at Lake Cumberland. Old Burnside was a small town, that was flooded over with the construction of Lake Cumberland. The buildings were left standing, the people moved, the land flooded and the lake created.

He drove us there on this particular day, because we’d had a severe lack of rain all summer. And he’d heard that you could see parts of the buildings. Sure enough, he was right. It had only been 20 years and there were ruins displayed over the water, where the drought had done it’s job.

We stood there looking. After a few minutes we walked back to the car. On our way back I saw a rock on the shore. I thought it was beautiful and asked my parents if I could have it and they said yes. The photo below is of that rock.

I have had that rock for 50 plus years now. It’s displayed in my office. It’s as special to me today as it was back then. I just thought it was cool. And I still do.

I held the rock in my lap on the drive home.

We never went back to Old Burnside, but at least twice a summer until I was in high school and old enough to say I didn’t want to go, we’d pile in what was now the pick up truck and treck down to look at “the lots.”

My father never built that house. And based on the last few times I was there, the lots never appreciated as a housing development never occurred. The last time I was there, it looked like an area where you might make crystal meth, if meth was being made in the early 80’s.

At some point, my mother made my father sell the lots. I have no idea what they bought them for. I have no idea what they sold them for. But I can assure you, my father did not get rich off the deal.

I haven’t been to Burnside in over 45 years. But ’m sure by now the remnants of the buildings are gone. But there are probably lots of cool stones along the shore of Lake Cumberland.

Adam’s prompt tonight was rocks.

I was lost for you to find. And now I’m yours and you are mine

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I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I’ve written before about working at Bennigan’s. It was my first “real” serving job. I started there in the fall of 1987 about three months after I moved to Atlanta. I lied to get the job, saying that I had experience. I don’t think anyone ever figured it out.

What I do remember is that the staff had all been there for a while and were pretty friendly with each other.

The story I’m going to tell is about Diane. She was older than me, probably in her late 20’s. About five minutes after I started she discovered she was pregnant. From the moment she knew she was pregnant she wore maternity clothes. Well, a baggy polo and she carried herself like she was 15 months pregnant.

The larger she got, the more she embraced it, as she realized it was good for the pocket book. She embraced the belly and would do anything she could to encourage people to ask her about being pregnant.

Eventually, she had the baby. I couldn’t tell you 40 years later if it was a boy or a girl. What I do know, is that when she came back to work after giving birth, she still looked pregnant. And she continued to look pregnant for another six months. Eventually, it became so ridiculous that the manager told her it was time to have the baby, once and for all and stop being pregnant.

So she did. And from that point on, a photo of her baby, was taped to her tips trays that she presented her checks on. I have no idea, how long this went on.

It has always made me laugh to remember her waddling around the dining room, up and down the stairs six months after she gave birth.

But a girls got to do, what a girls got to do.

Oh, the stories, I still have to do share.

Snow, It won’t be long before we’ll all be there with snow. SnowI wanna wash my hands, my face, and hair with snow. SnowI long to clear a path and lift a spade of snow. Oh to see a great big man entirely made of snow.

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I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

The official weather report from tonight on Channel 6 says that Cape Elizabeth got 14” of snow on Sunday and Monday.  That’s a lot for one storm, even for us.  Although, the most we’ve had since we’ve lived in Maine is just shy of 32” in one storm.  That was intense.  

I really don’t mind the snow.  Especially now that we live in Maine.  For the most part, the cities we live in are excellent at snow removal.  Our street has a thin layer of snow packed on it, but the main roads are all clear, less than 24 hours later.   

You do have to be careful walking around town, as someone at some point decided that brick sidewalks were cool.  They are pretty.  But they are horrible to walk on when they are wet.  They are even worse in the snow.  I highly recommend not having brick sidewalks.  

I also don’t mind the cold.  In fact, I never wear a coat.  It’s in the car just in case I’m in an accident or have car trouble, but I always leave it there.  I did use it a couple of weeks ago, when I knew I had to walk about 10 blocks from the restaurant we were eating at, to the music venue we were going to.  But even then, I took it off the minute I got into the car.  

However.  

With all the photos online of the expansive snow storm, there have been a lot of pictures of sledding.  I haven’t been sledding since 1993.  It’s one of those weird things I know, simply because there is photographic evidence of it. 

There was a huge snowstorm that closed the University of Kentucky campus for the day.   At least five or six of the tech students ended up in the show and we made makeshift sleds.  I can’t remember if we were using plastic, cardboard or metal.  What I do know is that it was great for sledding.  

We hit the hills outside of the theater building.  Fun was had by all.  

I was wearing my big red winter coat that I loved.  And my boyfriend, Sam and I were taking turns going down the hill.  At one point, we went down the hill together, and unbeknownst to us a photographer from the Lexington Herald-Leader took a photo of us. 

The next day we were in the paper.  

We were newspaper famous the next day, as we all got back to our regularly scheduled programming.  

Also, unbeknownst to me, Sam had reached out the newspaper and gotten a copy of the photo.  For my birthday, the next month, I got the framed photo of us sledding on campus.  It’s been displayed prominently; in every apartment I’ve had since. 

I’m way too old to go sledding now.  I’d end up breaking a hip and you know what they say.  But, the photo is a reminder here in Maine that I don’t mind the winter.  We put up with the intense cold and snow so that we can have the most beautiful summers and falls anyone as ever seen.  

Stuck all week on a lady’s lap, nothing to do but yawn and nap. Can you blame me if I yap?

/ fightmasterwrites / Leave a comment

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Family pets.  

We all have them.  Most of us grew up with them.  

A few people I know had sociopaths for parents and weren’t allowed to love an animal.  Not even a hamster. 

In my childhood, we had many pets.  Pedro is the first pet I can truly remember, although I know he was not the first.  He was a tiny, tiny chihuahua.   He loved my mother unconditionally.  And he would lose his mind when my Aunt Debbie, would tell my little brother to cry.  Something she enjoyed doing.  He would cry, and Pedro would get mad.  

As is with the case of a lot of chihuahuas, Pedro could also be mean.  If he didn’t like you, he had no use for you.  I don’t know that he ever bit anyone, but he certainly tried. 

The first real tragedy of my childhood, was sitting on the front steps of my house in Paynes Depot, Kentucky and watching a car squish our little 5-pound Pedro.  My Aunt pulled him from the road, and I stood next to her watching him die.  

Now you might ask, why was little Pedro in the road, well I wish I could tell you.  But I can’t.  I do know that I cried for several days.  

Cindy came next.  

I remember this perfectly well.  

I yelled at my mother that Pedro was fighting with the dog next door.  He belonged to my aunt and uncle.  What I didn’t realize till later was that they weren’t fighting.  My mom tossed water on them to “break” it up.  

We got puppies for Thanksgiving.   

We got Cindy.  My Aunt Doo got Toji, and I’m not sure what happened to the others.  

Cindy was special.  She loved us all, but once again, was attached to my mom.  She lived until she was 17 or so.  She was euthanized while I was at college, and my parents didn’t tell me until I came home for Christmas.  Of course, by that time, she was mostly blind, had no teeth, and had long stopped going outside for bathroom breaks.  

When I was in sixth grade we got Fiesty.  She was Cindy’s puppy and I have no idea who the father was.  She was the runt of the litter.  Hyper and funny.  And sweet as could be.  She also lived a nice long life.  

That was not true of all of our pets.  

When I was in first grade we had a white dog.  I don’t remember his name.  I’m not even sure he was a he.  I don’t remember a lot about him at all.  

What I do remember, is that it was summer, and I was spending the day with my stepfather, on the horse farm he worked on.  

It was a beautiful day.  The sun was shining.  The sky was blue.  We took his blue VW Beetle up the hill to go to work.  When we left, the dog was running around in the field next to our trailer, tied to the fence.  

Fast forward about four hours.  We take the tractor and wagon, down the hill to the trailer we lived in.  

I saw it first.  The dog wasn’t running anymore.  He was hanging from the fence post.  He had jumped over the fence and when he did so, the chain caught on the fence.  He’d been strangled to death.  

My stepfather, never said a word.  We went into the house and had lunch.  And when we finished lunch, we went back to the tractor and wagon.  I sat there and watched has he unhooked the chain and then tossed the dog on the back of the wagon.  

Without speaking, we drove to the back of the 80-acre farm and he tossed the dog onto a rock wall.  It was unceremonious.  It was not spoken of.  He just tossed the dog on the wall and we drove away.  

I’ve thought about that day a lot over the years.  What I was supposed to to think?   Would I do the same thing as an adult.  

What I do know is the dog deserved better.  I deserved better.  

And that’s not even the worst of the pet stories.  

Oh, Holy Night.

/ fightmasterwrites / Leave a comment

I’d like to speak to the manager!

Christmas.

Tis the season.

I’m a non-believer.

But I subscribe to all things Christmas.

I love the weather. The gift giving. The cheer. The scary ghost stories.

Especially, the music.

Although Hard Candy Christmas is NOT a Christmas song. Neither is Halleluiah.

I even love the origin story. The belief in a world that can be better than the one we live in.

That if we put our faith in something bigger than ourselves, we can make a difference.

Long after I stopped believing in the end result, when I was in Kentucky, I’d go to Christmas Eve church services. It was the church my mom and her sisters had gone to on Russell Cave Road just outside Lexington. It was a small church that was quaint and beautiful.

It was called Old Union Christian Church and I don’t know much about its history, other the fact that they celebrated their 200th anniversary in 2023, and they’ll celebrater the 100th anniversary of being in their current building in 2027.

I also don’t know much about their beliefs. For example, if they hate gays or not. I only went for the Christmas Eve event.

It was very sweet. The service was at midnight. And the church was lit only by candle light. It was breathtaking to step in from the frigid December air into the warmth of a room only lit by flame. It was quiet. It was serene. And it invited the participants to get lost in the beauty of the night.

At midnight, on the nose, the young minister, would step out of the back and begin the service. He told the story of Christ’s birth, with the congregation supplying the narrative through song to expand on the story. Hark the Herald Angels Sing. Away in a Manager. Silent Night. By 12:45 we had welcomed the birth of the baby Jesus and we were on our way.

I attended this service many times until I stopped coming home for Christmas.

It was beautiful, every time.

The last time I went was the most memorable.

I was sitting in the back, minding my own business and the service started. Behind me were several teenagers who were obviously there at their parent’s instance. They wouldn’t stop talking. Finally, I turned around and said, “I didn’t come here to listen to you all bitch about being here.”

They immediately stopped talking. I went back to the service.

After it was over, I quickly headed toward my car.

A man rushed toward me, as I was opening my rental car door. I was taken aback not knowing what to expect. He asked me if I was the person who yelled at his kids during church.

I wasn’t backing down and said yes.

He stuck out his hand and said, “I want to apologize. My kids know better and they’ll get a talking to at home. We are all here for the same reason, and I’m sorry they interrupted you.”

I thanked him for saying so. I assured him it was okay, and to remember it was Christmas and not to be too upset at his kids.

I got in my car and drove home.

I just looked at Old Union’s Facebook page and it doesn’t appear that they still do the midnight service. But I can assure you, that if they do, and I find myself at home in Kentucky on Christmas Eve again, Adam and I will be going.

Sleep in heavenly peace.