NYC

Everyone’s a LITTLE BIT RACIST!

/ fightmasterwrites / Leave a comment

I’d like to speak to manager!

I used to think _______________.

But now I know _______________.

While Adam and I were in NYC we had a quick dinner with a friend of ours.  She’s a performer and writer who Adam met years ago.  I met her at Adam’s birthday dinner, three weeks after we started dating.  

She’s funny.  And very insightful.  

While we dined, we talked about a lot of things and my writing came up.  I mentioned that Adam had been giving me prompts since sometimes I have a hard time coming up with something to say.  And that was the end of it.  

A few days after we got home, she texted Adam and asked if she could give me a prompt.  I immediately said yes.  And the prompt was.

I used to think ____________.  

But now I know ____________.

I thought it was brilliant.  And I’ve been thinking about it for weeks.  With my work schedule there has not been a lot of time to write but here you go.    

I used to think _____________.

Now I know_______________.

Several thoughts came to mind when he read me the text. 

I used to think I was fat. 

Now I know I am fat.  

I used to think I wasn’t racist.

Now I know I was racist. 

I used to think I was right.

Now I know I was NOT right. 

It’s a great question though.  

I’m going to go back to the first two. 

I used to think I was fat. 

I weighed 225 pounds.  I had a belly.  I was in NYC walking the streets in Chelsea where every man had a 32-inch waist and .000002% body fat.  And they were considered fat.  I remember being embarrassed that I had a 36-inch waist.  I was too focused on my own body to realize that although I had a few extra pounds, they were no happier than I was.  

I wish now that I had embraced my stocky body.  I would have been so much less self-conscience.  It didn’t help that I had several people in my life that were focusing their attention on getting me to lose weight.  It never seemed that who I was at the time was good enough.  In fact, a boyfriend broke up with me, because he said I had an active addiction to food.  I realize now that what I had was an active addiction to assholes.  

What I wouldn’t give to be as fat as I was back then.  I AM fat now.  And at 61, it’s okay.  I have a boyfriend who tells me I’m handsome.  I have friends who don’t focus on my weight.  I have a healthy view of myself. Do I wish I was skinny?  Fuck yes.  Do I like eating ice cream?  Fuck yes. 

This is not to say I’ll never lose weight again, but I also know that I’m happier when I’m not focused on the negative, and my weight leads me toward the negative.  

I just bought new pants that are in a size larger than the last pair of pants I bought.  And you know what, I don’t mind.  They fit.  I look good.  And the reality is, I no longer care what most people think.  I’ve kind of resigned myself that the only time I’ve really ever lost weight was with the “divorce diet,” so perhaps Adam needs to break up with me so I can be skinny again.  

And the other thought I had. 

I used to think I was NOT racist.  

 But now I know I was racist.  

So true.  

I challenge anyone white person who grew up in the south to prove to me that they grew up without bias.  It’s bred into you.  Like bourbon and sausage gravy.  Seriously. 

It’s like the song from Avenue Q.  Everyone’s a little bit racist.  And it’s true.  Maybe you didn’t not hire someone because they were black, but did you ever tell a black joke?  A Pollack joke?  

I used to say that I wouldn’t watch BET until there was a WET, not realizing that every tv channel was white entertainment television.  I have locked my car doors in a “different” part of town.  I have worried about going to a wrong neighborhood when someone wanted to take me home with them.  

This is all bias.  And we all have it.  What’s funny, is that the people who protest the most that they don’t have bias, are people who have the worst bias.  “I don’t see color.”  If you don’t see color then you are biased.  Wanting to end DEI is biased.  Ending voting rights laws is biased.  As a gay man posting straight looking white men only on a dating site, as a preference is a bias.  

I still have these biases.  The difference is, that when they creep in, I stop them in their tracks.  I say to myself, you are being southern and you need to stop it.  And I do. 

What I have realized though, is that it’s not just southerners.  

It was just announced that Jasmine Amy Rogers will be playing Maria in The Sound of Music this fall at Lincoln Center and OH MY have the racist come out of the closet.  She is a person of color and you’d think someone had just slapped their grandma.  How can a person of color play a nanny in Austria in a play.  Here’s how.  It doesn’t fucking matter!  Have you heard her sing?  She’s brilliant.  She’s funny. She’s charming.  And she’ll kill the role.  

And before someone asks, NO, it is not the same as a white actress playing the lead in Dreamgirls.  Race is not a part of the show.  There are lots of plays that require the actors to be white. This is not one of them.

So please, check your bias. And trust me, even if you are from liberal California you have it. And if you are from anywhere south of Ohio, you were fucking born that way.  Unlike being gay though, you can change.  And it starts with acknowledging it.  Then owning it.  Then changing it. 

As NIKE says, just do it. 

In the meantime, I think I have a pint of ice cream in my freezer with my name on it.   

Let’s do the Time Warp again!

/ fightmasterwrites / Leave a comment

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Day 7:

Today was the best day of all the days we’ve had so far. Truly.

It started early, meeting Adam’s dear friend Ellen Goldin for breakfast at 10:00 a.m. at The Waverly Diner. Adam and I try to eat there once each trip. It harkens back to before we were together, stopping for a cheeseburger at 3:00 in the morning on the way home from the bars. I think they close at 10:00 p.m. now.

It was great catching up with Ellen, who we haven’t seen in a couple of trips. We caught up on our personal lives, then commiserated about the state of the world. She’s a nice voice of reason in the insanity that we are all living in. Plus, I got to order an egg sandwich, which I only get in NYC.

During breakfast, Ellen told us about a great world market that had just opened across the street, so we strolled over after. It was so much fun. The produce was far better than what we get in Portland, the meat was far cheaper than what we pay in Porltand, and it was the best prepared food selection I’ve seen since before I left NYC. Adam had a blast walking around. If I’ve not said it before a food store (grocery store) is his favorite place in the world.

After lunch, we subwayed up to Lincoln Center to see a movie. I have not seen a movie on opening day since perhaps when Gone With the Wind opened in 1939. Seriously, I can’t remember the last time I saw a movie on opening day. Adam and I barely, ever, go to the movies in Maine. However, he’d suggested we see The Devil Wears Prada 2 while we were in NYC, since we needed to do something this afternoon, and it’s fun to see movies in NYC where the theaters have more than 20 seats.

It was the largest movie theater I’ve been in in forever. We saw Blue Moon last November but the theater resembled a Portland theater. Today the theater had a balcony and the main level easily had 200 seats. It was also almost sold out.

We also go to indulge in some things we never indulge in. Fried Cheese. And. Popcorn. I love movie theater popcorn. Adam won’t share with me because I don’t get butter. I like movie theater butter, I just don’t like it on my hands so I never get it. He won’t eat it without it. However, I was happy to indulge in his fried cheese and the ranch dressing he paid extra for.

We both enjoyed the movie a lot. It was a thoughtless way to spend the afternoon, and it allowed us to revisit some old friends that we hadn’t seen in 20 years. It also allowed us to see all the characters in a new light. AND. It was nice to see a movie where the male characters were minor to everyone else. Who knew two strong women could command your attention for two hours.

After the movie we walked to Central Park and sat for about an hour. It was a beautiful day, and since we’ll probably get snow in Maine this weekend, we thought it would be nice to enjoy the fresh air. We both did some phone chores we needed to do, and watched cute boys jog by. It’s one of the best reasons to go to Central Park.

Around 4:30 we taxied over to Park Avenue for dinner. We were early for our reservation so Adam walked around the corner for a coffee and I sat by the fountain and texted with a few people. When he got back, we wandered down the street to our dinner reservation.

Tonight was our fancy dinner. It was at The Grill Room. It’s a restaurant that opened in the 60’s, and the whole space reminds of you of Madmen. It’s a midcentury interior and is beautiful. The Four Seasons ran it forever, then it closed in the mid-teens. It reopened a few years later with the current owners.

The meal was wonderful. We started with caviar and bubbles, which we hardly ever get. We followed that up with crab cakes and steak tartare and a Manhattan and a Vesper. We never say no to any of those. Then. Adam got the sole and I got the table side prime rib. We also shared a nice bottle of wine suggested by the sommelier. And to wrap it up we got a lemon chiffon cake and a baked Alaska. The assistant general manager had come by when we first got sat and discovered that we were both in the business, so she sent out an additional dessert, which I don’t remember what it was but it was our favorite.

Now comes the best part of the evening.

One of the reasons we planned this trip, was because Rocky Horror was being revived this spring. Adam has fond memories of the last revival, which I saw and loved.

But for me Rocky Horror, harkens back to high school. In the early 80’s in Lexington, KY, on Saturday nights. Rocky Horror played at the Chevy Chase theater, and then the Kentucky theater for $1. My theater friends and I would drive from Georgetown to see it. We would drive thru the liquor (In Kentucky, I think you can still drive thru the liquor store) store on the north side of town, buy a bottle of vodka, then stop for orange juice. We’d park for the movie, and drink screwdrivers in the car. Then we’d go in for the movie. (A pint doesn’t get four people very drunk, and we’d be sober enough to drive home two hours later).

I can still remember the first time I saw the movie. I was a virgin in Rocky Horror speak. I was obsessed. There were queer men. There were unspeakables on the screen. And everyone was having a blast. The summers of my junior and then senior year, I saw the film over 50 times. I learned every word of the call backs. I learned every lyric of the songs. It was me being able to be myself, without confessing to anyone.

In the late 80’s, early 90’s, Actor’s Guild of Lexington produced the live show. And I made the local paper, because I called out all the call backs during the show. I’m still not sure if they wanted that, or expected that. I do remember that it was a great production and I was so happy to see it live. I’m pretty sure Vic Chaney directed and @ I know Chase Clark played Rocky.

To say I was giddy with enthusiasm, tonight, would be an understatement. I was told by Adam that I couldn’t yell out anything, although a few people did. But that didn’t keep me from whispering the call backs to him for my favorite lines.

And my favorite call back is when Frankenfurter says, “There’s no crime in giving yourself over to pleasure” and the audience responds, “There is in Kentucky!”

My favorite part of the show tonight was watching the audience. The average age was 40+. There were people my age and older, singing along with every word. Bouncing and dancing in their seats. And then I look down into the orchestra and in the fifth row, house right, there is a 12 year old boy, singing along as well, with his parents. It made me so happy.

The show is a glorious chaotic mess. And it’s wonderful. There is glitter. And confetti. And fog. And sex. And hot women. And hot men. And real trans folk. And real queer people. And the lights are flashy and fun. And the set is flashy and fun. And the sound is flashy and fun. And the band is spot on. And I wish that I could see it 12 more times before we head home.

But alas that it not in the cards.

In the meantime, I’ll do the time warp back to 1949 and see Death of a Salesman tomorrow.

You are the wind beneath my wings.

/ fightmasterwrites / Leave a comment

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Day 6:

Today was a fairly boring day for Adam and Jeff.  Until it wasn’t.  

I’ll start with the fun stories for those who only read a paragraph or so.  

Adam and I were meeting an old work friend of his.  We were going to have a very quick dinner at Legasea, at the Moxy Hotel.  It was near her work, and since she got off late and we had a show to get to it had to be quick.  

We were running late, and my right knee was being a pain in the ass, so when I saw the long flight of stairs to the second floor, I requested the elevator.  We pushed the button and waited.  It came pretty quickly.  We entered first, followed by two couples and a single man.  The single man pressed the buttons we needed and the elevator began to move.  

The elevator lifted about a foot, then dropped suddenly about a foot, then the screen you used for buttons went dark.  We waited.  Nothing.  The single man pressed the screen but nothing was happening.  At first we were all joking and laughing, until we realized that we were stuck.  

I lived in NYC for a long time, and I’ve used elevators all my life, even in some questionable buildings, but I’ve never gotten stuck.  It was true for everyone in the elevator.  

The man standing behind me announced that we all should stay calm.  No one was panicking, but okay.  The man on the other side of me popped open a can containing a margarita.  I jokingly asked if he had another and he showed me he did.  Still no one was panicking.  

Soon the single guy, who was next to the screen took control.  First, he tried calling for help on the elevator system.  No one answered.  At my new job, if you call on the elevator it goes to 911.  He tried again.  Still no answer.  

He then pressed the alarm.  Now a loud alarm was going off.  Still, no one was responding.  Eventually, he pried open the door enough to realize we were still on the first floor.  He ended up prying them open about 6 inches and suggested we call for help, at which point the woman behind Adam on the other side of the elevator let out a blood curdling scream.  Like something you’d hear on Friday the 13th.  The man in charge announced, no more of that, why don’t you let me call for help.  So he stood next to the doors and began to call for help.  

Here’s the fucked-up part.  We could see people walking by, but no one was interested in helping.  The alarm is still going off.  He’s calling for help.  And after what seemed like forever, maintenance showed up, pried the doors open from the outside and let us out.  In all it was ten minutes at the most, but it’s a long time to be stuck, when you don’t know the outcome.  

Adam was very sweet when we got out.  He said, “I was just upset we weren’t standing together so I could hold your hand.” 

Once we were out, we walked up the stairs, had dinner and caught up with our friend.  

As for the rest of the day:

We had bagels again.

We saw The Outsiders again.  With NINE high school groups.  (There was a print out of the schools inserted in the Playbill).  The show was great.  And it’s a great first Broadway experience for kids, as there is fire, and rain, and the sets and lighting are wonderful.  And it really is a great score.  I cried again, even though I knew how it ended.  

After the show we grabbed a snack at Shake Shack, and NYC institution at this point.  

After dinner, we saw Beaches.  

On the way home we stopped at Dante Apertivo for a night cap.  I had the best boulevardier I’ve had all week.  The only thing that would have made it better would have been if they’d had Rittenhouse as the base spirit.  

Now it’s approaching midnight.  I’m sleeping, so I’m going to shower and go to bed.  

There are giants in the sky!

/ fightmasterwrites / Leave a comment

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Day 5:

Not a lot of photos today as we repeated a few things.

Started the day back at Los Tacos No. 1. Who doesn’t love a good taco and fried quesadilla to start the day. Double Topo Chicos today because it was extra spicy.

Then we were off to the theater.

Today’s matinee was Fear of 13. A true story of a man who was sentenced to death for a murder he didn’t commit. It stars Adrian Brody. I have no photo there as they put a sticker on your camera when you went in. I still don’t know what for, because it didn’t stop people from taking photos. (I did grab a shot of the playbill from online).

They also went VERY out of the way to make an announcement to shut off your phones part of the show. It didn’t work. Six. Count them. Six cell phones went off during the show. And of course, they are always in the quietest part of the show. And I’d like to go on record saying that OLD people are the worst. At both the matinee and the evening show there were old ladies still looking at their phones after the show had started.

The show was serious, but with a good number of laughs. I loved the lighting as it wasn’t big and splashy and spoke more to the kind of lighting I like to create. Adam prefers when things are bright and moving. It was two hours with no intermission, but it moved along at a nice pace. Definitely worth seeing, if for no other reason than to see Adrian Brody in his underwear.

Dinner was at an Italian restaurant up the street from our matinee. Unfortunately, their website said open all day, but when we got there, they didn’t open for dinner until 5:00 and as we had a 7:00 show, we needed to eat early. So we moved on to Joe Allen’s. Joe Allen’s is on Restaurant Row, and for those of you not in NYC, it’s often frequented by actors in the area and the posters on the wall are all the posters from notorious flops from Broadway. Carrie. Dance of the Vampires. The big ones.

We grabbed seats at the bar. Ordered dinner and was waited on by the best bartender we’ve been waited on in forever. I’m surprised Adam sits at the bar there, because every time we do, I make friends with the person next to me and he hates it. I did not do that today, but there was a shared moment when the French Dip that I ordered arrived sans dip. The boat for the gravy was on the plate but it was completely empty. The foodrunner, the bartender, and everyone around me had a good laugh about it. It was delicious once the gravy was brought.

After dinner we went back to The Rum House, where we had the worst service we’ve ever had there. The server was short and snappy; didn’t seem to care we were there and I did something I never do which was to call across the restaurant to get her attention so that we could pay our check and get on to our show. She was busy talking to a table across the restaurant about her botched haircut and I learned that her mother always says don’t not spend money on your hair and your eyebrows. You’ll regret it every time.

Tonight, we saw Giant, a play about Roald Dahl. Who knew he was a bigot. Which is ultimately, what the play is about. It stars John Lithgow, who really is 7 feet tall. Well, actually 6’4”. He commanded the stage and turned in an amazing performance. So far, we are still batting 1,000 with our show selection.

After the show, we returned to our hotel, packed our belongings and moved to the apartment that friends loan us in the West Village. Their daughter, had been staying here this week, so we couldn’t get it until today. It’s a wonderful space, and is next to everything you might need. Food, drinks, bagels, coffee, subways, parking. In fact, we were able to park right in front of our building tonight. Of course, we are supposed to move our car in the a.m. but we usually just pay the ticket so we don’t have to get up early.

Adam and I have seen more straight plays (non-musicals) this trip than ever before. We also made the switch from the mezzanine (the first balcony) to the orchestra this time and we have discovered that there is more leg room and I don’t have to climb as many stairs, unless I have to pee.

We are both having fun, but we are ready to see our kitties and sleep in our own bed.

Near, far, wherever you are, I believe that the heart does go on.

/ fightmasterwrites / Leave a comment

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Day 3:

The best part of being on vacation is getting to sleep late.  We typically have such late nights that we rarely start the day early.  It felt nice at 8:30 to turn over and go back to sleep.  

We finally got our day started at 11:30. We had a 1:00 lunch reservation so we needed to get up, to have time to stop for coffee and club soda.  There is a Starbucks and a McDonald’s about 20 feet from our hotel.  What more could a person want.  

We got our morning libations and headed south in a cab to SOHO to have lunch at Balthazar.  Balthazar is the restaurant Adam and I ever went to that wasn’t a diner in our neighborhood.  One that first trip, we got chicken liver mousse, and steak tartare.  Both are part of our restaurant favorites whenever we eat out.  We also have them at home occasionally when Adam is feeling adventurous when he cooks.  His version of both are great.  

Balthazar is great, but the tables are SUPER close together.  The kind where you have to pull your table out so that one of us can go in.  I always sit on the outside, since I usually don’t fit in the tight space and I get super claustrophobic.  We got lucky today, we were on the outside table, next to the window.  However, it was still tight.  Tight enough to admire the gentleman’s Rolex next to us.  I love watches, and I have to admit, it was very pretty.  And the table that replaced them one of the girls had an engagement ring the size of Texas.  The tables were also so close that I felt like I was getting intimate with the super cute server, who kept reaching around me to pour water and wine.  

Lunch consisted of chicken liver mousse, shrimp cocktail, frisée salad, and French onion soup for me.  We then split a chicken club with fries for our entrée.   I have to admit, that by the time the club came, I was stuffed so I picked at the fries and enjoyed the last of the wine.  

After lunch we walked across to Hudson Street.  It was a perfect day in NYC.  Bright blue sky, and warm, but not hot.  Not quite perhaps warm enough for shorts, but you definitely didn’t need a jacket.  

We took our time walking as my right knee is in the throws of needing surgery.  It’s not quite there yet, but the time is fast approaching.  I have to take it slow, and not push it.  I’d like to keep away from the doctor for at least another year.  

When we got to Hudson, we hailed a cab and headed up town to the Whitney Museum of American Art.  Neither Adam, nor myself had ever been and we thought it would be a great way to spend the afternoon.  We started on the top floor with, as we were instructed to do, with a stop at the coffee shop, for a soda water.  We grabbed a table outside on the patio to enjoy the view of the city scape.  

We were sitting there, when we were approached to take a photo of a man with a very big, very expensive camera.  I stood up to do and he kept speaking to me in a very thick German accent.  I had no idea what he was saying.  After he handed the camera back to me, he back to talk to us.  I could only make out about every third word, but I did understand that before he retired he worked as a gas man installing pipes.  He was concerned about the fact that NYC infrastructure is over 100 years old.  He then perched his leg up on the railing so his crotch was somewhat in Adam’s face and begin to talk about how you need to have big hands if you want work with pipes.  

I was sitting there watching the interaction Adam and the old man (probably in his mid 70’s) and I could see Adam getting more and more uncomfortable.  I kind of found of funny, because Adam hates talking to strangers.  When the man left to grab his glasses Adam turned to me and tersely said, “Save me.”  I laughed and stood up.  And we told the man to have a great afternoon and we started our tour of the museum.  

It’s a wide variety of modern American Art, with Warhol, Jasper Johns, Edward Hopper, Basquiat, Georgia O’Keefe, moving to really modern art with artists who were born in the 50’s that I do not know.  I have to admit that I like the older stuff more than the more modern stuff, but it was amazing to see the political overtones about race, war, etc. in the creation of the different pieces.  

After the Whitney, we walked The High Line.  For those of you not familiar, NYC took an old elevated railway line on the west side of the city and turned it a park, that wanders up the west side.  It’s full of plants and art, and many times you are walking by buildings that you can see into.  There are places to sit and in the summer, people sell wares and food etc along the way.  It’s a great way to get from The Village north through Chelsea.  

When we got to 23rd Street, we grabbed another cab to go up to Times Square.  

In Times Square, we went to The View in the Marriot Marquis.  It’s the revolving restaurant and bar on the top floor.  We’ve been before and what it lacks in quality it makes up for in scenery.  

We took the elevator up to the 47th floor and got seated at a nice table next to the window. 

Do you remember how I mentioned that Adam doesn’t like to chat with strangers.  Our server was a chatty Kathy.  She asked about his tattoo.  She asked where we were from.  She would not stop talking.  Even when we were ready to order.  

Finally, we ordered, and she disappeared.  Adam went to wash his hands and she delivered our drinks while he was gone. Thus began a conversation about our drink choices, whether he was a chef, and what brought us to New York.  We also learned that she lived in California, Las Vegas, Boston, where she would drive up to Vermont.  

Finally, we were on our own to enjoy the view and look at our phones.   At which point I asked Adam if he would order a club soda, since she’d conveniently forgotten the one I ordered with my drink.  He did and she brought it.  

15 minutes later she reappeared to ask if we wanted another drink.  We ordered and at which point she cleared our empty glasses.  Including the soda water she’d brought that I’d take one sip from.  I was soda waterless again.  

It really makes me laugh when the soda water shenanigans start.  

We finally paid our check, said thank you and left to go thte theater.  

Tonight was Titanique.  An amazing show about Celine Dion actually being on the Titanic when it sank.  It’s a laugh riot.   We saw it Off Broadway three or four years ago, and it’s bigger and better on Broadway.  Once again, the audience was involved right from the beginning and they never stopped laughing or engaging till curtain call.  

After the show, we grabbed a cab, headed back to our hotel and now Adam is watching TV and looking at his phone and I’m about to post this and take a shower.  

Tomorrow is another two show day.  

They say the neon lights are bright, on Broadway!

/ fightmasterwrites / Leave a comment

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Day 2:

We slept very late. Almost till 1:00. We were tired from the previous 2 days and the late night last night.

The day started with a text from a friend from Atlanta who was in town. She was on her way home about the same time we were starting our day. It would have been great to see her as we only see each other every so often.

Next up was bagels, at The Bagel Bar down the street. They were delicious.

Then we rushed up town to see Dog Day Afternoon. The reviews had been mediocre at best, and it was one of the last shows we plotted for our trip. We didn’t have high hopes, but we were pleasantly surprised. We enjoyed it a lot. The performances were great and the design was amazing. It’s been years since I’ve seen the movie so I’m anxious to get home and give it a watch to see if it’s as funny as the show today was. We were both very happy to have included it in our list.

We had dinner at Gallagher’s. A must when we come to NYC. We always get the crab cake and the carpaccio. Tonight, we shared entrees and had a small bottle of wine. It was a great way to spend a couple of hours before we moved on to our evening show. (However, for the first time ever, Stu the bartender was not tending bar. We see him every time we go).

Of course, we had to walk from 52nd street to 41st street, so we couldn’t walk by The Rum House without stopping in for a pre-dinner cocktail and to see our friend John. We disappointed to learn after many years he has moved on. We had great service, but it was not the same. And he always remembered us.

We finished the evening with Schmigadoon. It’s the stage version of the TV show from years ago. I actually had to push to get Adam to put it on the list because he was convinced it would be meh. I was excited because it is based on the big dance shows of the 40’s and 50’s and I LOVE a musical with big dance numbers. I turned out to be right. The show is a must see if you like musicals. The performances were great. The design is great. And the songs are toe tapping good. And if you happen to be a musical theater fan there are so many throw backs to all of the shows of yesteryear. Samples of melodies. Jokes that harken back to the shows. And characters that play on the characters from these musicals. Billy Bigelow. Gertie Cummins. The Barroness from the Sound of Music. The audience might have been the best part of the show. They were on board the minute the show started and stayed right there till the last chord of music. It was so good.

We are batting a 1,000 so far with our selections.

We called it an evening early. I’m sitting in my underwear, drinking a soda water, typing while Adam is in the shower. We are going to watch some TV and read the Facebook so we can do Day 3 tomorrow.

Another Openin’ Another Show!

/ fightmasterwrites / Leave a comment

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

It’s the last week of April, which could only mean one thing. Adam and I are in New York. We actually left early and drove to Wallingford, Connecticut. It’s about 3 hours into the drive. We stayed at the Hilton Garden Inn there.

This caused the first argument of the drive because, when Adam got sleepy while driving, we traded places and he hooked up my phone to the car. I, however, had only put in Wallingford, to see how long it took to get there, NOT the actual address of the hotel. We figured this out when we didn’t get to the hotel with the directions. It was only a couple of miles out of the way, but it was late.

We got up early this a.m. and drove the rest of the way, making great time. We were in NYC a few blocks from our hotel by 11:30.

But.

Fun fact. You could not drive east on any cross street south of 34th street today. They were all blocked off. So, we could not in fact drive to our hotel. We finally managed to get close on 6th Avenue, and we parked illegally, while Adam took our bags in and checked us in early. Then we parked the car, and finished getting the rest of our things in our hotel.

Once again, we are staying at the Hilton Garden Inn. Not fancy, but we don’t spend a lot of time in the room. But it is clean, but small, and the a/c works which is always great.

On the way back down to the lobby, we were joined in the elevator by two 20ish guys. They are hucking it up about whether a girl becomes your girlfriend if you spend the night at her house. They were being loud and we were trying to ignore them, when one of them says, Hey. Let’s ask these guys. So he says, “if this dude here spent the night last night at a girl’s house, does that make her his girlfriend.” Without a beat, I said, only if you are a lesbian. They cackled and wouldn’t let it drop. The friend said, I told you. She’s your girlfriend now. As we got out of the elevator I said, let us know where you register for the wedding and we’ll buy you some China. And they started laughing again.

And we were off.

It was raining as we left, so we hustled to the subway. Uptown to Times Square for a snack.

At least once during our NYC trips we stop at Los Tacos No. 1. The line is long but moves fast. The food is delicious. And you can be in and out in no time.

Then we headed around the corner to our first show of the week.

Becky Shaw.

I had no idea what it was about. All I knew was that Jeanine from Handmaid’s Tale was in it. The show was excellent. So funny. And the set had lots of surprises.

The show came down at 4:30 and we ran in the rain to up the street to see Every Brilliant Thing. It was so moving. And sweet. And how they pull off the logistics of audience participation is amazing. I have to admit that I had tears in my eyes for the last 20 minutes of the show. It is a one man show, and Daniel Radcliffe commanded the stage even before the show opened. The audience participants were amazing when being put on the spot.

The 10,000th brilliant thing is “waking up late, with someone you love.”

And then, we had to move it back to the subway to get downtown for our next show.

First though, Adam needed a snack so we stopped for pizza at Two Boots. I hadn’t eaten at Two Boots in at least 25 years. It was perfect for what we needed.

Adam had suggested that since we had about 50 minutes before the show we should stop in Ty’s, a gay bar for a drink. I had not been in Ty’s since the early 2000’s. It has not changed much except that they take credit cards now. The clientele has not changed either. The same men who were going there in the 20’s are now going there in their 60’s. Adam was by far the youngest man in the bar.

Neither of us are “bar” people. At one point Adam leans over and says that he’d forgotten that at bars people just walk up and talk to you. This is after we met a very nice lady named Candy. She moved on, and someone asked if they could stand and share our table. We said of course. We were one and done, and so Adam ran to the restroom while I waited and while Adam was gone the man who had joined us asked, “Are you all going to the Eagle tonight?” I said, I don’t think so, and he replied, well that’s too bad I’d have like to have seen you both naked later.

I thanked him for the compliment and said that we had tickets to the Ken Rex across the street and had to go.

Adam commented that it was the second time I’d been hit on in the past two weeks.

Ken Rex is a one man show, about a true crime in Kansas in the early 80’s. It is a play with live music accompaniment and is very tech heavy. And I thought it was great.

I have to admit that I didn’t know much about any of the play we saw before seeing them today, but so far, we are 3 out of 3 for winners.

The night ended with dinner at a French Restaurant across town called L’Express. It is open late and worked great for having dinner after our show. We were seated next to a couple, who was soon joined by friends, because they’d just flown home from Paris where they had gotten engaged. The ring was a brick.

Now we are home and Adam is in the shower.

Today at the first show, the woman sitting next to us had the best cat shirt on with big black cats all over it. Adam complimented her.

At Ken Rex, the woman in front of us had the best purse and Adam asked if he could take a photo of it for someone at work. I’m glad he did, because while he was using the restroom at intermission, she pulled a burrito out of the purse and ate dinner.

Oh. The times they are a changing.

PS. Today is the one year anniversary of Adam giving me a pre-engagement, engagement ring.

Start spreading the news!

/ fightmasterwrites / Leave a comment

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Happy New Year!

For five years I worked at the Hard Rock Café in Times Square NYC.  It was a very lucrative job, and it afforded me the ability to pay my rent, as well as take time off to design shows that came my way.  

There were 120+ servers on the schedule, and 75% of them all had side gigs going on.  Artists, models, musicians, actors, comedians, and the list goes on.  On any given busy night there would be 40+ servers on the floor.  The restaurant sat around 800 people at one time and was often on a 2 hour wait.  There were nights that you’d run into a co-worker in the dish pit that you didn’t even know was working that shift.  

The Hard Rock was known for doing lots of events throughout the year, but the big event was New Year’s Eve.  We were closed to the public and did a private party for one of the sponsors for the Times Square ball drop.  It was a very all hands on deck kind of event, and I was scheduled almost every year.  

As a manager, I love working events.  As a server, I’d rather get a root canal.  Every year, I’d scheme to get out of the shift, and it never happened.  In 2009, my first New Year’s Eve with Adam, I paid a co-worker 50 bucks to work my shift so that I could spend the evening with him.

The next year, we were in Texas, and I managed to be off.  

The years preceding Adam, I always took the cut.  Around 11:00 they’d ask for volunteers to go home and I’d always say yes.  I hated being there, and I hated being in the crowd trying to get home.  

However, in 2011, Adam and I had just gotten back from Maine, where we’d spent Christmas.  On Christmas Day, my friend’s Lisa and Michelle, along with myself, sat Adam down and did an intervention.  We explained to him that he was moving to Maine the followiong summer, and just to embrace it.  After about 30 minutes he craved, and the plan was put into motion that got us moved to the northeast.  

When we got home, I was of course scheduled to work New Year’s Eve.  This year was different.  Although, I’d not yet given my notice, I knew that this would be my last New Year’s Eve in NYC.  And although, I hated working events I was excited to work New Year’s Eve 2011.  Because the Hard Rock Café is at the base of the building where the ball drops.  And for all my years in NYC, I’d never been in Times Square to watch the ball drop.  

So in 2011, when volunteers were asked to speak up, I didn’t volunteer.  At 11:45 for the first time ever, I was present, when the staff gathered on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant.  And at 11:59:59, I watched the ball being to descend, I experienced the playing of New York, New York, I saw the confetti fly, as all of my co-workers hugged each other. 

Somewhere on this laptop, I have the video of that night saved.  It is buried in files and files of photos off lots of different phones and cameras I’ve had since grad school.  I have looked for the last three days, but have yet to be able to find it.  I’ve found lots of other fun surpriseds, but not the video.  

I’m glad that I worked that night.  I’m glad before I left the city for good that I got to see the ball drop.  It’s one of those New York City memories that I will always cherish.  

I’m not getting married today.

/ fightmasterwrites / Leave a comment

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

This is my last gay pride post.  

Gay pride.  Will we even be allowed on the streets next year?  Dramatic?  I certainly hope so.  

As ALL of you know, Adam and I go to NYC a lot.  

We see a lot of shows. 

And we revisit the city in which we met.  

This past April’s visit was special.  We used it to celebrate my 60th birthday.  

Goddamn am I old.  

On Monday when we got there, Adam mentioned that he wanted to walk up 5th Avenue to window shop, see Rockefeller Center, the windows etc.  He also wanted to stop at Louis Vitton for cologne.  One of his favorite fragrances is from there and he wanted to see if they had a travel size.  

On Tuesday, we did just that.  We took a cab to Macy’s were we wandered through the watch department.  I have a gift card for Macy’s that I’m supposed to use on a watch, but I saw nothing I like, or could afford.  

After that, we wandered over to 5th Avenue and walked north.  

We indeed passed all of the landmarks.  

At 57th street, we passed Tiffany’s and rounded the corner to Louise Vitton.  They did not have his travel size, but he did buy a another fragrance that he liked.  When we left, we rounded the corner to head south and he said, lets go in here:  Tiffany.  

We went in, and were asked what we were looking for.   He replied,  men’s rings?  

What?  

Full disclosure.  For the past 10 years, every time we went to NYC, I’d joke that we should stop in Tiffany for a ring.  It fell on deaf ears.  Every single time.  

Last fall, I confessed to Adam that I didn’t care if we got married, but I wanted a symbol I could wear that let me know what I was his boyfriend.

Unbeknownst to me, he’d actually listened.  

We went to the fourth floor.  Men’s wedding rings.  

We were greeted by a lovely man who asked what we were looking for, then were were introduced to a woman who would help us.  

We sat down and she began to show us our options.  In silver.  I did not want gold.  I wanted silver.  

Fun fact.  The entire fourth floor is dedicated to engagement rings.  And wedding rings.  

Only 6 of them are for men in silver.  

I tried several on.  

It was not a hard decision. 

Actually, the ring we liked the best had Tiffany and Co written on it, which we did not like.  

I settled on a platinum band.  Simple. 

The woman helping us, sized the ring, and found the one I needed.  She put it on my hand and it fit like a glove.  More on that later.  

The next thing we knew we were being served champagne and cookie.  This might have had something to do with me telling her that we were getting engaged.  

She also took a photo for us, wrapped up everything in Tiffany blue packaging and sent us on our way. 

I’d told Adam that I wouldn’t wear the ring until he officially gave it to me.  

Fast forward to Friday night.  We saw The Picture of Dorian Gray.  90 minutes, and had reservations at Pastis, one of our favorite late night restaurants.  We got there early, and our table wasn’t ready.  

We walked across the street to a park to wait.  It was fun to people watch and reminisce about what the meat packing district had been when we both moved there.  It really was about meat packing for the gay community.  

We finally got a text and our table was ready.  We got back to the restaurant, and were seated at the absolutely worst table in the restaurant.  Seriously.  The worst.  

We had dinner, joking about how bad the table was.  

After dinner, we planned to walk back to our apartment.  I had to pee, but did not want to walk back down the stairs.  

As we left, Adam kept saying, we need to walk across the street.  I said no.  He said yes.  In our relationship, he wins.  

We walked across the street and sat down on a big rock.  He started to speak about us, our relationship etc.  Then he pulled out the tiffany box, opened it, and put the ring on my finger. 

I was almost moved to tears.  We kissed.   

Just then a couple walked by and I asked her to take out photo.  Turns out is was a lesbian couple who had just gotten married.  

The took our photo.  

Adam and I hugged and kissed and walked home.

By the time we got home, I realize the ring was too big.  My fingers had been swollen from the humidity when we bought it.  

The next day, we went back and traded it for a size smaller.  

I’ve worn it every day since.  

Are we married, no.  

Are we engaged?  Yes.  Although I did call him my fiancée and he told me to calm down, thus the reason for the two month delay in telling all of you.

But I wear my ring proudly every day.  And we are in the very beginning stages of figuring out what a wedding would look like.  

I’ll keep you posted. 

I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride it where I like

/ fightmasterwrites / Leave a comment

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

In the winter of 2000/2001, I was working out at the New York Sport Club in the financial district in New York City.

Before any of you laugh, I weighed 185 pounds, and was in tip top shape.  

One of the physical trainers there was named Rich and he and I took a liking to each other.  He asked not if he could train me, but if I’d be interested in working out with him.  

I said of course, and we did.  

He was in great shape, was very sweet and fun fact, he was mostly deaf.  It was a new experience for me.  

We dated for a bit, but he was far more interested in me, than I was in him, and it didn’t last long. 

That being said, we worked out together for a bit, and stayed friends.

In early spring, he invited me to an event at his apartment in Chelsea, to discuss the bicycle ride from Boston to NYC to raise money for AIDS research.   

I went and thought what great idea.

The funny things is: he decided not to do it, and I decided to DO IT.  

The ride that year was from NYC to Boston, covered over 350 miles and was from July 19 to July 22.  

I spent the rest of the spring/summer NOT training.  

I rode my bike for a hot minute but I was not interested in the heavy lifting.  

The smartest thing I did all summer, was ask my friend Mike if I could borrow his road bike, instead of riding my mountain bike.  It did make all the difference in the world. 

I forget how much money I HAD to raise to do the ride but I exceeded the amount by about 1,000 dollars. 

Lots of my friends/family donated and this was before social media.

In fact, I raised so much money, that on the first day of the ride, I gave “away” some of my donations, so some fellow riders wouldn’t have to pay out of pocket. 

Finally, it was July 19, the first day.  

I had delivered my bike a couple of days ago so it could be delivered to Bear Mountain, New York.  

On July 19, I took a cab to the area for the bus that would take us to Bear Mountain to start the rise. 

Fun fact:  I left my cell phone in the cab.  It was the first and last time I lost a cell phone.  It meant that I couldn’t be in contact with any of the people tracking my ride or coming to meet me.  

I got to Bear Mountain, picked up my bike and with a blow of a whistle the ride commenced. 

It was 350+ miles from Bear Mountain to Boston.  I was disappointed it wasn’t from Boston to NYC as it had been before but I was sure to have fun.  

The way the ride worked, I’d ride my bike the specified route for the day, and when I got there, my belongings would be there.  I would sleep in a designated tent, but I’d also find food, shelter, showers, massage therapists, chiropractor, etc.  

I won’t go in to the details.  The ride was hard.  There were too many hills.  But I was determined to do the ride.  I didn’t walk my bike.  I didn’t ask for the van to take me to the next rest area. I didn’t complain.  

I rode every moment of the 350 miles.  

What I will say, is that it was the perfect idea of society.  There were people to help you.  There were people cheering you on.  When you got to the top of a particularly bad hill, you’d step off your bike, to cheer on the people behind you.  When you got to camp, it was a mutual admiration society.  People cheered you on as you pulled in to camp.  They asked you to join them for lunch or dinner.  They asked how you were doing. The insisted you go ahead of them to the showers etc if you had a bad day.  

To this day, it was four days of Eutopia and what we all want society to actually be.  

And on the last day, early afternoon, you passed in to the Boston city limits.  There were people lining the streets, screaming and the crowds grew as you got closer to the finish line. 

And sometime around 5:00 Sunday afternoon, I crossed the line.  I was tired.  Sweaty.  And beat. 

But I’d done it.  

And.

My friend Michelle and my friend Lou were there to meet me.  After we found each other, we went to the Cheers bar to have a beer, then went to dinner at a restaurant I don’t remember.  

The next day, I flew back to NYC.  And at the end of the week I picked up my belongings and my friend Mike’s bike.  

To this day, it still is one of the best moments of my life.  

A friend on Facebook, mentioned that he is working the crew on the ride in California this week and that it’s the last year it’s happening.  

I highly recommend doing it if you ever get the chance.