I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

One of the funniest things I did as a young gay, think 16 to 20, was never tell a guy I met, my real name.

Never.

Ever.

My name tag at Day’s Inn was Robert. So very often I told them my name was Robert.

As I started to type that I had no idea why. But the truth is, I was terrified out of my mind that someone would find out I was gay.

So, I was Robert. The name would come out of my mouth and later I’d think to myself, why did I lie? How is he going to find me? I don’t have anything in my name, except a driver’s license.

I also learned the hard way that if you are going to lie about being over 18, it helps to know what year you were born.

I told someone I was 22 once, and he immediately said, “What year were you born.” I did the math in my head and missed it by like five years.

Whoops.