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In ancient days, in winter, when the sun kept sinking lower in the sky, men started to wonder if it could die. “Look,” they said, “The day is being eaten by the night!” Look,” they said, “the darkness is devouring the light!”And they were frightened

/ fightmasterwrites / Leave a comment

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I live in Maine.  

It’s April 21st.  The temperature today was in the low 40’s.  I just checked and at 7:55 p.m. the current temp is 38*.  It’s still fucking cold and we are approaching May 1st.  We are ready to turn the off the furnace and pull out the shorts and t-shirts.  

When we said we were moving to Maine, AND when we tell people we live in Maine, everyone, and I do mean everyone, mentions the winters.  I have to admit that when Adam and I discussed moving here, we never considered the winters.  We just wanted to live near our friends and be out of the city.  

Next month will mark 14 years since we moved here.  Seriously.  How did that happen? 

And, after 14 winters in Maine, I can honestly say, they aren’t that bad.  Yes.  They are long.  We still have the heat on.  Most people are still wearing coats.  We had real snow in the west yesterday, and flurries here in Portland.  And let me remind you once again, that’s it’s late April. 

What I can say, is that Portland winters don’t even come close to comparing to mid-western winters.  In 2007, I took a job teaching at Grinnell College in Iowa.  It’s in the middle of the state, halfway between Iowa City and Des Moines.  For my NYC friends, to get to Iowa, you cross the George Washington Bridge, which is where I-80 begins and drive west for about 17 hours and you’ll find yourself in Grinnell.  

First and foremost, my experience in Grinnell was wonderful.  Some of the best theater folk I’ve ever worked with.  Hands down one of the best TDs.  And my first design there, to this day is one of my top 3 shows.  It was such a wonderful experience, and was so successful that I aspire every show to be as amazing.  

 But.  

Iowa in the winter is fucking cold.  

I lived about a mile from the school.  I did not have a car.  I would bundle myself up in my heavy winter coat, gloves, scarf, and hat and trek to school on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  My path to school took me past a classic bank building with a digital clock and temperature sign.  When I first got there, it was just kind of cold.  32*.  24*.  19*

Then winter hit.  

First, there was an ice storm.  I never lost power on my side of the street, but across the street they didn’t have power for about three days.  

Then the temperature dropped.  For more than a week it was -20*.  I know this, because I would walk by the bank with the sign and it would say, -19*.  -21*.  -20*.  

Two fucking straight weeks. 

On those days there was no hope of staying warm.  You just held your breath and marched head first into the storm.  

Meanwhile, in Maine.  

It gets cold, but hardly ever below 0*.  It snows, but the state knows how to deal with it.  If it snowed a foot tonight, and stopped at 6:00 a.m.  By noon, the streets would be cleared.  Like, it never snowed at all cleared.  My little side street, would have been plowed a dozen times, and the main roads would be completely clear.  

So yes, Maine winters are long.   But given the choice of wintering in Portland or wintering in Iowa, I’d choose Portland every single time.  

Of course, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that it’s 60* in Grinnell tonight.  

My prompt tonight was ice. 

I got ssssteam heat, but I need your love to keep away the cold

/ fightmasterwrites / Leave a comment

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

It’s currently 6* in Portland.  That’s very cold.  Even for us. 

I talk about Maine winters a lot.  And while yes, they’re long and cold.  It’s not ridiculously cold like it is in the Midwest.  And thanks to climate change, we get a lot less snow than we used to, although this weekend is going to challenge that statistic.  

And, even though we don’t get as much snow as we used to, the city and state, are well versed in snow removal.  The snow will start Sunday afternoon and by Monday morning, the roads should be drivable, if not clear depending on when the snow stops.  Within 24 of a total stop, the highways and main roads will look as though the snow never happened.  

That being said, it’s still cold.  Very cold. 

Adam and I are lucky that we live in a fairly warm house, and we have the ability to set the thermostat on a temperature than can be comfortable for both of us.  That has not always been the case for either of us.  

In NYC, the heat comes on in October and goes off in April.  And it’s set at a constant temperature of just a few degrees cooler than that sun.  Old school radiator heat, that is for the most part either on or off.  If it’s on, you are sweating the moment you walk into the house.  Off is a little trickier.  If the valve works you can turn off the radiator, but you chance it never coming back on again.  Thus, your heat is on, your windows are open, and the a/c is running in the middle of January.  

Growing up, we lived in an old farm house, heated by a fuel oil stove in the dining room and a wood stove in the living room.  It was either cold, or slightly more cold, depending on the weather.  I always said, that when I was an adult, I’d never be hot in the summer or cold in the winter and we are lucky that that is true now.  

My favorite thermostat story, is when I lived in Lexington, going to school at UK.  My boyfriend and I rented the downstairs of an old four-square house.  It was beautiful, with tall ceilings, hardwood floors and lots of windows.  Beautiful, but very cold.  It was always freezing.  

To make matters worse the landlord had locked the thermostat so that we couldn’t adjust the heat.  We suffered through this for about a month, when my boyfriend came up with a solution.  We took the freezable plastic blocks that you use in a cooler instead of ice, and put them in a plastic grocery bag.  We then nailed the bag so that it would hang on top of the thermostat.  Instant heat.  

I lived there two winters and we did this the whole time.  Not a perfect solution but a work around all the same.  

Another fun story about that house, was that it had three separate apartments in the house.  One on the first floor, one on the second floor and another on the third floor.  However, the basement is where all the utilities were, including heat, hot water and electric breakers.  

At the beginning of our second year, we got new upstairs neighbors.  And from day one, they had parties, late into the night every Thursday.  The first couple of times we asked them to be a little quieter and they basically just ignored us.  We were about a month into the school year, when I’d had enough.  

During the next late-night party, I went downstairs to the basement, and turned off the breakers to their apartment.  The music and noise stopped.  I went back upstairs to bed.  When my alarm went off at 8:00, I returned their power.  It only took doing this two times, for the Thursday night parties to stop. 

They never complained and I started being able to sleep.  

I have so many wonderful stories about the house on Stone Avenue.  But those will have to wait for another day.